


Breaking Point

by snoopykid



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst and Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:28:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25335412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snoopykid/pseuds/snoopykid
Summary: The beginning had been fine. It had been when she started to describe the events of Penny and Robyn Hill that started to cause her breakdown: haunting memories and voices. Events that have been slowly breaking her. At what point will something lose force or validity, when a situation becomes critical, or when a person gives way under stress? What will be her breaking point?Also cross posted on Fanfiction.net under same username
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The point at which something loses force or validity
> 
> The point at which a situation becomes critical
> 
> The point at which a person gives way under stress

Ruby had sat down to write her report on the events of the Grimm attack in Mantle. She had started her report with Jacques Schnee being announced victor. The beginning had been fine. It had been when she started to describe the events of Penny and Robyn Hill that started to cause her breakdown.

Her heart was racing as fast as her semblance. Her mouth had gone dry as she inhales and exhales to try and gain control of her breathing. She had started sweating, and her senses had gone into hyper-drive. The black pen that was in her hand was trembling, her handwriting having become almost illegible as the words on the page became jagged. Memories and voices started to play in her head, but the visuals and voices echoing and as if she was underwater: blurry, twisted, and warped as they overlay with the events that transpired a few hours before:

 _To her, he had just been standing there when Yang had suddenly shot him in the leg. The sound of something breaking rings out, and Mercury screams and falls over in pain,_ " _ **Why'd she do that!? WHY'D SHE ATTACK ME!?**_ " _Instead of seeing Penny's petrified and uncomprehending face; she sees Yang's face. Instead of hearing people curse Penny's name, she hears the echoes of them cursing Yang's._

Ruby shook herself. Her heart still beating profoundly in her chest. She tried to write the next part of her report: Nora, Ren, Marrow, and herself going outside to the total chaos of the Grimm attack. Her left hand was still shaking as she tried to write the events that had transpired next. She recalls seeing Penny's face as she had taken to the sky and disappearing. The screams of innocent people along with the roars of Grimm. However even with those events, she doesn't see that battle; instead she sees her and her partner fighting back to back:

" _ **Weiss! Please, you have to stop her!**_ " _Jaune's panicked voice had come through on her partner's scroll,_ " _ **Pyrrha! She's going after that woman at the top of the tower! She doesn't stand a chance!**_ "

_There had been a small conversation, but what stood out to her the most was the moments after. The ground shaking, the danger that loomed. The Wyvern flying into view, circling Beacon Tower with black ooze dripping from it. She could still hear the horrifying screech that emitted from it._

_It perches on one of the arches stemming from the tower and utters a screech. She had drawn Crescent Rose, shifting it into its scythe form in preparation for the Grimm spawning from the ooze,_ " _ **I have a plan.**_ " _She heard herself say._

 _Weiss had drawn Myrtenaster,_ " _ **You always do.**_ "

She slammed her pen down and covered her eyes with the palms of her hands, seeing not the blackness behind her eyelids, but the scene that continued to play out, "Make it stop." She groaned out. However the memories did not stop coming to her:

 _They fought side by side against the Grimm,_ " _ **We've gotta hurry!**_ " _She hears her own voice as she cuts down the Grimm that had lunged towards them. They had been trapped against the Tower with nowhere to go._

She stands up suddenly, her chair falling back at the force she used to get away from her desk, "Faster." She mutters to herself, "I should have been faster." She looks around the room, not really seeing it, but instead seeing-

 _A series of glyphs going straight up the side of the tower,_ " _ **You can do this.**_ " _Weiss's distorted voice echoes to her._

Her breathing picks up as she paces the room, holding her head in her hands, "I couldn't…I couldn't…I-" She stops pacing before staring at the wall, "I couldn't save her."

_She had finally reached the top after using her partner's glyphs to aid her. She landed just in time to see Pyrrha sitting with her eyes closed, Cinder letting the damned arrow fly into the center of Pyrrha's chest. All she could do was watch in horror as Cinder had flash incinerate her friend._

The scene still plays as she stares blindly at the wall. She is unware when the tears started falling, but all she could see within the painted wall was-

_Pyrrha's body glowing orange and then scattering as embers. Her headdress dropping on the floor._

She feels her hands clench at her side into fists. Her eyes close shut, she is growling low and menacingly, " _ **PYRRHAAAAAA!**_ " She hears herself scream, she raised on of her fists and slams through the wall.

"RUBY!" She feels a hand on her shoulder. She grabs the person's hand and forces them against the wall before grabbing the nearest thing next to her, which was Myrtenaster and pointed it at the intruder's throat.

"Ruby stop! That's Yang!" Blake…that sounded like Blake…

Ruby blinked slowly, but did not let up the hold. Yang wisely did not move, however she could see out of the corner of her eye that Ruby was slowly coming to, "Ruby please. Whatever happened we can talk about it." She managed to get out, fully aware that Weiss's weapon was still really close to her throat. Any wrong move, and…well she didn't want to think about that. What she did want to know was what the hell happened to her sister.

The voices were still slightly distorted to her, however she made out Yang's voice. She didn't trust it. She couldn't trust it. There were soft whispers that she was aware of, but her main prey was the person she had pinned. Then she feels another hand on her, this time softer, gentler; instincts telling her it was non-threatening, "Easy Ruby…easy. It's ok."

"Weiss?" She manages to choke out.

"Yes Ruby. Give me Myrtenaster." Weiss slowly moves closer to Ruby now, her hand keeping on her shoulder while her other one goes to the hand that is bloody, yet slowly healing itself as it has her weapon at the blonde's throat. She makes eye contact with Yang, signaling the blonde to not move or say anything more, "Ruby give me Myrtenaster. Please. You are hurting Yang."

"Yang?" Then slowly her mind caught up with her body and she saw what she had done, "Yang! Oh my gods I'm sorry!" She releases Myrtenaster to Weiss as she backs away from the blonde.

"It's alright Rubes. We are good." Yang says wanting to pull Ruby into a hug, but saw the still underlying guardedness in her sister's posture.

"No it isn't alright. I nearly…if Weiss…" Ruby shook her head.

"What happened anyway?" Blake asked slowly seeing the hurt flash in Yang's eyes, "We left to shower and when we came back, you had your fist through the wall."

Ruby shook her head, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Ruby please. We want to help you." Weiss said gently looking at her partner and wanting to hurt the people responsible for the dark look that was in the normally bright silver eyes.

Ruby turned her back on them and went back to her desk. She started to re-read her report and saw the sloppiness and inconsistency in it. What freaked her out once more was when reading the description of the Grimm attack, she noticed how it transitioned from Mantle to Beacon. With a growl, she began to tear it up before throwing it in the trash, "I'm going to the training room. Have your reports of the attack on the desk so I can turn them into Ironwood when I get back."

"Report? Ruby wait." Yang called out stopping her sister from leaving by blocking the door.

Ruby had Crescent Rose in her hand and glared at her sister, "Yes Yang. We weren't together earlier. We went our separate ways so I need both of your accounts. You and Blake were together, so yours is one. Weiss was with Jaune and Oscar so I need Weiss's account. I cannot just have one team report. I'll re-do mine when I get back."

"Ruby talk to us please. This isn't just about your report. Now what happened?" Blake asked from behind her, her ears flattening on her head as she looked at her team leader.

"I do not want to talk about it." Ruby stated firmly, "Now stand aside." Yang didn't move, "Yang move or I will move you."

Yang looks at her sister and sees a dark look come across her face. It was a look that startled her, she had seen it directed at Grimm or their foes, but never at her friends and family, "Alright fine. However we are talking about this when you get back." She moved aside and Ruby just sighed and started to leave the room. She had made it through the threshold of the door and into the hallway, when Yang called out, "Hey!" Ruby stopped, but did not turn around, "I love you Ruby."

 _Broken, defeated, devastated,_ " _ **You can do whatever you want. I'm gonna lie here.**_ "

" _ **Yang...**_ "

" _ **Just leave me alone.**_ "

She doesn't have to look over her shoulder to know what her sister is waiting for. Everything in her power was telling her to say it back, but she couldn't. She wanted to say those three words. Words she had said that day, but was not reciprocated back. In fact she could feel the three of them now looking at her. It was suffocating, just like that day though, she slowly leaves to continue down the hallway not saying those three words back to her sister.

It felt like a stab through the heart as Yang watched Ruby leave them, "What the hell happened?" She now demanded as she closed the door to look at the black and white duo.

"We weren't here so how would we know?" Weiss demanded, not liking how the attitude was directed even though it wasn't intentional.

They had gone to shower after the long evening, leaving Ruby alone in the room, the red clad scythe wielder claiming she would take one once she had the report written. Nothing had seemed wrong then, but as they had come back into the room, they had seen Ruby staring at the wall, eyes closed and her fists at her side before finally throwing that punch. Yang had acted quickly only to have herself slammed up against mentioned wall with Myrtenaster at her throat by her younger sister, "Maybe the answer lies in her report?" Blake suggested, but it came out as a suggestion.

Weiss and Yang turned to see the cat faunus holding Ruby's report. Shrugging and motioning for Blake to proceed, she un-crumpled the paper and put the pieces that she could together, "It's the account on the attack." Blake said softly as she quickly looked it over.

"But something isn't right. Ruby's handwriting is all over the place." Yang said pointing out the flaws.

"Agreed, her penmanship always needed work, but this is just terrible; especially in here." Weiss said pointing to a line then she re-read the sentence, "Wait hold on…she was at the election party right?"

"Yes…" Blake trailed off in confirmation.

"Yang was with you right?"

Yang nudged Weiss, "Yes. Kitty Cat and I went dancing while you saw a lame movie." She ignored Blake elbowed the blonde with a hiss to shut up that Yang ignored.

Weiss glared at Yang, "Then why did she mention you in the report?"

"Wait what?" Yang asked snapping her attention back to the paper to where Weiss was pointing.

In a scratched out sentence she was mentioned that she was there standing in front of…that was when the sentence was completely scratched out and replaced with describing Penny as protecting Robyn Hill and that it was Tyrian Callows that had attacked the party, "Well that is odd." Yang said after a minute.

"Not as odd as this. Here she mentions that she, Nora, Ren, and Marrow had followed Penny outside. He was telling her to leave when the Grimm attacked and Penny had flown off. However this is where she stops and it almost becomes illegible, but look she mentions Weiss." Weiss looks shocked and sees where Blake is pointing, "As Yang mentioned you were at the movies."

"I can't read anything more but you are write. Just what the hell happened?" Weiss commented.

There was a knock on the door and slowly Yang answered it just as Blake began to fold up the scraps, "Hey Nora, Ren. What's up?"

"Winter called us for a meeting." Nora said in an uncharacteristic tired tone, "We told her we'd let you guys know."

"What for?" Blake asked as Weiss still looked concerned, "What about Ironwood?"

"Probably has to do with what happened tonight. Ironwood is handling the situation with Penny." Ren said in the same tired and defeated tone, "We already sent an alert to Jaune and Oscar. Where's Ruby?"

Weiss shook herself and got her jacket on. They had changed out of their combat gear into more comfortable clothes. Blake and Yang gathered their stuff, making sure to take their weapons this time, "Training room. I'll send her a message as well." Weiss said getting her scroll out as they followed Nora and Ren out of the room and down the hall to her sister's office.

"Don't bother. Oscar and Jaune also went to the training room as well. I'm sure they'll tell Ruby." Nora said, "Anyway we thought we heard shouting. What happened?"

"Honestly?" Yang asked, "No idea." They walked the rest of the way in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I mean, it's only been one day. Ruby... I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment, I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them."
> 
> Ruby shook herself, "I've been questioning myself since we got here. Wondering if what I was doing was right." Oscar said nothing, and chose instead to ready his guard, "I've been thinking about the advice you gave me that day in the hallway. Do you remember?"
> 
> Somehow Oscar did. He didn't know how, but he did. He can see the hallway as if he had been going to the school himself, and not as clear but not murky a fifteen year old Ruby comes to his mind with the words that were said to her, "You've been burdened with a daunting responsibility, Ruby. I advise you take some time, to think about how you will uphold it."

"Alright that was better." Jaune commented proudly to Oscar.

"Heh." Oscar managed to get out thoroughly winded as he whipped the sweat off his forehead, "Thanks; I know we just had fought the Grimm and whatnot, but I figured I could use a bit of light practice."

Jaune nodded and handed him a water bottle as they sat with their backs against the wall, "It's all good. Anyway I wasn't in the mood to write my report yet, so you offered the perfect excuse."

Oscar just smiled at him and took a swig of water. They did rest up a bit, but he had been feeling antsy. Not having unlocked his semblance yet made him feel almost inadequate sometimes. Yes he had come a long way from being a simple farm boy, but he knew that he had a lot of catching up to do. He had been about to make another comment, when there was a sudden shot that rang out in the training room. Looking over, he sees Ruby with her scythe fully extending from its sniper mode to its full length, "I wonder if she is alright…" He trailed off looking at Jaune.

Jaune was frowning as he watched his friend. Ruby had come storming in while he and Oscar had been practicing. They tried to get her attention, but Ruby had her scroll out and headphones on, so they left her alone as she went to the target practice area where randomized Grimm would appear and began fighting them…rather violently as if they were the real thing, "I do not know." He pulled out his own scroll, hoping to text one of her teammates to see if something had happened to the reaper, when he sees a message from Nora. Opening it he sighs, "Well practice is over anyway. Winter wants to see us in her office." He says sending a text back to her.

Oscar sighs as well, "So much for a night off."

The boys start to get up and pack up their things, "I am going to the rest room quick." Jaune said, "Looks like Ruby doesn't know, do you want to let her know about the meeting?"

Oscar looks over warily, but nods, "Alright want us to wait for you here?"

"Sure we can walk over together." They hear a battle cry and watch as a holographic Beowolf is decapitated by the massive blade. Jaune winces in sympathy to the hologram, "Try not to startle her though."

Jaune starts to walk away, Oscar's eyes not leaving the lethal dance the red caped leader was performing, "I'll try not to." He says to himself. Taking a deep breath he goes over to Ruby.

 _ **So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed. Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind? So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise? Will all our sins be justified?**_ The song blasted through her headphones and into her ears as she stood panting. Honestly she couldn't remember the band, nor did she care ( _A/N: it's actually Within Temptations 'Hand of Sorrow'_ ). All that mattered was that it spoke to her, and seemed to understand her. Seeing the massive Ursa before her, she stood her ground as it roared in her face rearing its massive front claws ready to strike at her.

 _ **The curse of his powers tormented his life. Obeying the crown was a sinister price. His soul was tortured by love and by pain, he surely would flee but the oath made him stay. He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life. He prayed for both but was denied.**_ She dodges and a memory comes to the forefront of her mind. It was the moment on the bleachers after Ironwood presented them with their licenses:

" _ **Your mom, Summer, would be proud of you.**_ "

" _ **Her… last mission. Was that another Oz secret?**_ "

" _ **There were a lot of those back in our day. But this one was a Summer secret. When she didn't come back, Ozpin seemed just as in the dark as myself and your father. Still, who knows what he may have hidden from us over the years.**_ "

Ruby let out a scream of rage at the Ursa as it took another massive swipe at her. Then in a burst of petals she went behind the beast and in one fluid motion she lopped its head off and the monster disappeared. Qrow's words mixed with the song that was still playing in her ears: _**Please forgive me for the sorrow, for leaving you in fear. For the dreams we had to silence, that's all they'll ever be. Still I'll be the hand that serves you, though you'll not see that it is me**_.

Everything this song was say was true as she tilt her head back to breathe for a moment. This young man in the song was given a heavy burden. He had been a nobody and yet somehow he ended up serving what seemed to be a king. Not being able to be happy for himself no matter how he tried. It felt like her…she too had been a nobody until that dust robbery…suddenly the last verse of the song cut out. Swearing, she pulls her scroll out and sees that it had died on her, "Damn it!"

"Ruby?" Ruby mentally groans and looks to see Oscar approaching her with caution, "Jaune said he got a message from Nora-"

"I don't care. Leave me alone." Ruby says wrapping her headphones up with her scroll and placing it in her pouch on her side. She went over to the console, readying it to give her the next level of Grimm to fight.

Oscar hesitated for a moment, unfamiliar with the sudden mood of the girl who was normally cheerful and encouraging, "But we have to see Winter; she called for a meeting."

Ruby was growing increasingly agitated, "What part of 'leave me alone' are you not getting?" She couldn't help it. It honestly was not Oscar's fault, but the more he talked, the more she saw Ozpin. He was the cause of all of this and…she defended him. Sure she was angry, but she tried damn it! She tried and yet…

"You are a team leader. You have to be there." He pushed again not seeing the warning signs that Ruby was not having any of it, "It's probably about-"

"You do not need to tell me what it is about!" Ruby yelled now, grabbing her scythe making Oscar wince and take a step back, hands raised, "You know what?! I will not be a part of your sins anymore!"

"Wha-what?"

"You heard me! You've played me from the start of all of this!" Ruby shot back, "Back in the police station! You played on the hopes and dreams of a fifteen year old girl…all because of what I inherited from my mother!"

Oscar's eyes were wide as he took another step back, unfortunately though Ruby took a predatory step forward, "Ruby I really do not know-"

"Bullshit. You probably played all of us, used us as chess pieces; having our fates decided for us. Tell me, what was your main goal if you couldn't just kill Salem?"

"Ruby please-"

"What were you going to do? Make us all Maidens like you were going to make Pyrrha?" Oscar's eyes widened further, "It's your fault she is dead. I should have let Jaune punch your lights out."

This wasn't Ruby, he knew that. Whatever has gotten into her, he needed to snap her out of it. Something (and maybe it was Ozpin or his own survival instincts) was telling him that his life looked like it depended on it. He stopped stepping back and stood still, his hand going for his weapon. Ruby had brought her scythe forward, "Ruby whatever has gotten into you, you need to snap out of it." He fought to keep his voice calm and collected, "I am not Ozpin. You know this."

"You might as well be." _Ouch, ok that hurt a bit_ , "You have his memories! You know what happened to my mother. I know you do. You probably got her killed just like you got Pyrrha killed! In fact you nearly did kill all of us! You had been leading us to our deaths had I not used Jinn in the woods!"

 _Ok_ , he sighed to himself, _she wants Ozpin…then maybe act like him and that will snap her out of it_. He tried to straighten his posture, his muscles moving on the limited memories of what it was Ozpin would do to present himself to his former students, "Ok Ms. Rose, you have my attention." He said once more fighting to keep his voice strong and calm.

Ruby's retort died in her throat as she looks at him. No something was off, but her mind was refusing to work with her at the moment:

" _ **Do you know who I am?**_ "

" _ **You're Professor Ozpin. You're the headmaster at Beacon.**_ "

She could see the relaxed posture and secretive smile from the man that she once was ecstatic to meet, contrary to the determined frown and the defensive stance of the young man in front of her, " _ **Hello.**_ "

" _ **Nice to meet you.**_ "

" _ **You want to come to my school?"**_

" _ **More than anything.**_ "

"I wanted to go to your school more than anything." She says at last.

Oscar is just watching her. He notices Jaune coming out of the bathroom, face washed and wearing a change of clothes. He looks over at them concerned, and readies to call out to them, but Oscar gives him a look, or rather a warning. Jaune must have received it, because he stops suddenly. Looking back at Ruby, he gets a feeling within him and he cannot help but say, "I know you did."

Ruby looks at him, her eyes are slightly unfocused and almost glazed over, and he knew that she actually believed that she was talking to Ozpin, despite the wizard having been dormant within him for weeks now, "Did you? Did you really see me for my skill, or just my eye color?"

"What do you mean?" Oscar asked.

Ruby felt a jolt in her mind as that same question echoed in her, " _ **What do you mean?**_ "

" _ **I mean, it's only been one day. Ruby... I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment, I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them.**_ "

Ruby shook herself, "I've been questioning myself since we got here. Wondering if what I was doing was right." Oscar said nothing, and chose instead to ready his guard, "I've been thinking about the advice you gave me that day in the hallway. Do you remember?"

Somehow Oscar did. He didn't know how, but he did. He can see the hallway as if he had been going to the school himself, and not as clear but not murky a fifteen year old Ruby comes to his mind with the words that were said to her, " _ **You've been burdened with a daunting responsibility, Ruby. I advise you take some time, to think about how you will uphold it.**_ "

Seeing that she was waiting for a response he nods, "Yes and have you thought about it?"

"The badge of burden." She comments lightly, "Somehow you had plans for me right from the start, which leads me to question if the initiation was premediated as well. No matter though." She says cutting off a comment he had been prepared to make, "To answer your question yes I have. You had said a team leader isn't just a title to carry into battle, but a badge that is worn constantly. Well I am being a team leader right now by saying I will no longer be your hand."

"I'm afraid I do not understand." Oscar said slowly.

"I will not serve a false king." With that, Ruby lunged forward, for the first time feeling in control of a situation- a fight for her freedom from the fate of being a chess piece. And something else fueled this, the feeling of if she is free, then her friends will be free as well. All she had to do was defeat the young man in front of her.

Jaune's eyes widened as Crescent Rose met Long Memory. The two clashed before the force of the blows separated the two of them. Ruby lunged forward again, and Oscar just barely had time to defend. Jaune shook himself and grabbed Crocae Mors, ready to help defend Oscar, "No!" Oscar yelled seeing Jaune, after forcing the reaper back.

"Oscar what-?"

"No time! Go get help!" Ruby came at him again, this time he went flying backwards.

Jaune watched as his green aura shimmered, before Oscar got up again, "But your aura, you barely have any left!"

"I got this! Just go now!" Jaune hesitated before swearing and pulled out his scroll. He tried dialing Nora's scroll, but it went to voicemail, he hung up and tried Ren's, and same thing. Swearing again he looked back at the scene of the brutal fight Ruby was giving Oscar before running out of the training room wondering: just what the hell had happened in the ten minutes he had been gone?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I yield." Oscar's strained voice rang out.
> 
> "No. No you are not allowed to." Ruby said growling out.
> 
> "Ruby I yield." Oscar pleaded, "You win."
> 
> "Pick up your weapon."

"Where is the rest of your team?" Winter asked slowly looking to her sister's group with her hands behind her back. Qrow for his part stood silently to the side just observing. This was their rodeo, not his. After all he had been with Clover and they had given their debriefing before Ironwood went to talk to Pietro Polendina about Penny's situation.

"Ruby went to the training room just before Nora and Ren informed us of this meaning." Weiss said in the same tone, "They said Jaune and Oscar had gone there as well so they should be here in a minute."

Ren nodded, "That is correct. Oscar asked Jaune if he could do some light training with him. We did send them that message ten minutes ago though…" He trailed off as he looked at Nora.

"Hey you watched me send him a message that Winter called a meeting."

"Unless they are trying to get Ruby to leave." Yang muttered with a troubled look in her lavender eyes. Qrow straightened up at this and looked at his niece.

Winter caught the shift out of the corner of her eye and then saw the uneasy gaze of her sister, "Ms. Xiao-Long? Care to elaborate."

Team RWBY looked at one another and Blake sighed. When she had folded up the scraps of Ruby's report, she had placed them in the pocket of her jacket just so they could look at them further later. Pulling them out, she handed them to Winter and started to explain what had happened in the few precious minutes prior to Nora and Ren arriving, "That is not good." Qrow spoke now for the first time, looking at the report on Winter's desk as the Specialist herself tries to decipher the words.

"Tell me and be honest." She starts slowly as she looks up to glance at new hunters, "How has Ms. Rose taken to dealing with past and current events?"

Their eyes widened at the question as Winter and Qrow looked at them, "I mean…she's taken the hits in stride…" Yang said slowly, "Better than I did really." She looked at the others for help.

"She's kept fighting." Blake said exchanging glances with Yang, "She was with you the most. What do you think?" She asked Ren and Nora.

"Things were rough for us initially." Nora said with uncharacteristic like tact, "But we came together." Ren nodded in silent agreement.

Weiss noticed something in Qrow and Winter's looks and states, "That isn't what you are asking of us is it? You know what she was struggling with to write." Silence fell over the room now as they looked at the adults.

Before anyone could comment the door banged open and Jaune came in panting, "Please come quick."

"Jaune what is it? What happened?" Nora asked noticing her friend's distress.

"She is going to kill him."

"Who?" Ren asked going over to him and helping him stand up a bit straighter so he could breathe easier.

"Ruby." He gasped out, "She started fighting Oscar and he doesn't have much aura left. We have to go. Now!"

"Hold on I am having a hard time-" Nora started to say.

Jaune shook his head, "We are wasting time!" He looked at Qrow and Winter, "Come on we have to go." Blake, Yang, and Weiss exchanged worried glances, no doubt thinking of when they entered the room.

There was another sound of footsteps walking passed Winter's office with some laughing, "Oh man that is some sparing match." They heard one person say.

"Red is kicking Farm Boi's ass for sure." Responded his friend with his own laugh before letting it die and saying as an afterthought, "Seriously though, remind me to never get on the reaper's bad side."

"True. Shame I liked Farm Boi, it was nice knowing him." They heard them turn the corner.

Jaune looked at them, "Now you believe me?"

"You don't think-" Qrow asked slowly not wanting to believe what his younger niece could be going through.

Winter gave him an uncharacteristic sympathetic look, "You know this profession just as well as I do. Come on let's go get them." Jaune led the way as the others looked at one another before quickly following.

When they got to the training area, they were met by a horrifying sight. Oscar's body shimmered green as he was thrown backwards. Ruby was pivoting back around and lunged towards him once more. Oscar raised Long Memory in defense just as Crescent Rose swung in a wide arc motion. Immediately something was flying towards the group and Weiss and Winter acted on honed instincts summoning their glyphs, shielding the onlookers just as the object was imbedded in the glyphs mere inches from Blake's face. The faunus looked surprised, color draining from her face, as Yang gripped her arm. No one spoke as glyphs vanished and the object fell to the floor; it was the top half of the famous cane belonging to their former headmaster.

Slowly looking at the dueling duo they saw Oscar falling to his knees, now a cleaved Long Memory falling from his grasp and clattering to the floor, uselessly next to him, "I yield." Oscar's strained voice rang out.

"No. No you are not allowed to." Ruby said growling out.

"Ruby I yield." Oscar pleaded, "You win."

"Pick up your weapon."

"No."

"I said pick up your weapon. Now!"

"I won't. I'm done fighting you."

Ruby looked down at him and there was a moment of a flash in her mind. She stumbled back, one hand going to her head as she lowered Crescent Rose with the other, " _Do you believe in destiny?_ "

"Stop. Make it stop. I just want it to stop!" Ruby yelled as there was another flash of the scene that had been the cause of all this. She turned back to Oscar, not noticing their audience. If he wasn't going to raise his weapon willingly, then she would force him to. With a fierce growl, she lurched forward once more.

"RUBY!" Yang yelled as she made a move to run forward, but someone else was much quicker. There was a sudden audible clang.

Oscar had his eyes closed and slowly opened them to see a black cape in front of him, "Go." Qrow growled out as Ruby's scythe was pushing against Harbinger, "Now! Get over to the others!"

Oscar swallowed and struggled for a moment, grabbing his weapon and going towards them, "You alright?" Jaune asked running forward to help him, "Just what the hell were you thinking?"

"Trying to get Ruby to snap out of whatever has come over her." Oscar said, "She wanted Ozpin, so I acted like him to reach her and reason with her. I didn't think she'd try and kill me." He looked at his weapon, "Now how the hell am I going to fix this?"

"Ruby will do it once she is back to her senses." Blake said recovering from the shock, "We just have to find a way to reach her."

"But how are we going to reach her? Like what the hell is going on? Is she possessed by a Grimm or something?" Yang demanded as Qrow forced Ruby back two feet. The caped girl was staring at him critically, not truly seeing her uncle.

Winter had her saber out, "That would be too easy I'm afraid." They looked at her now.

"What do you know?" Weiss demanded as she too kept Myrtenaster close.

Winter looked at her sister and then met the stern gazes with the others, "I'm afraid your leader is suffering severe flashbacks. From what we managed to read, they were triggered by the events of that party."

"You were stabbed." They heard Ruby say before they could have a chance to comment, "He stabbed you."

"What is she talking about?" Yang demanded slowly as she tried to get a read on the intense situation.

Ren, Nora, and Jaune felt a tightness in their throats as they recalled the moment Ruby could be talking about, "Tyrian. That scorpion faunus;" Ren said, "Ruby said he was at the party. He committed those murders."

"So is she remembering that?" Nora asked slowly, "This just seems a little extreme-"

"No it cannot be just that." Jaune says cutting her off. His mind was going a mile a minute as he thought back to before he had gotten his reinforcements. Aside from the obvious, what was with the party that triggered this massive break in their red cloaked leader?

Ruby for her part was staring at Qrow, not really seeing him. Instead she heard the echoing clang of Harbinger and a different weapon, one owned by a certain scorpion faunus; then the sound and image changed:

 _She is fighting for her life and for the life of her uncle. She thrown back from his two-footed kick. She isn't paying attention to her surroundings until she sees that her uncle is standing before her with Harbinger drawn. The wooden beam had given way and would have crushed her, had he not saved her. The feeling of relief and gratitude had vanished in an instant just as fast as it had come as Qrow gasped in pain, having been stabbed by Tyrian's stinger. She had reacted without thinking and_ , "I took his stinger." She growled out glaring at her uncle, but he knew that she wasn't really glaring at him, "I took that damned faunus's stinger." She spat out now.

Blake winced at the unfamiliar and ferocious tone coming from the normally compassionate and forgiving young girl in front of them. Weiss is equally shocked at this tone and Yang does what she can to support her partner, knowing that Ruby hadn't meant anything by her tone in general, "I know. I was there." Qrow said gently keeping his distance, making no move to approach his niece.

Ruby growled now and started pacing, completely forgetting that her fight with Oscar was interrupted, "I should have taken more than his stinger, I should have taken that faunus trash's life."

"No. Ruby no, you don't mean that." Qrow said quickly.

"YES I DO!" Ruby yelled, "It wasn't Penny's fault! It was _**his**_ fault! He killed those innocent people!" Once more flashes of that night came to her and she said in a quieter tone, "It wasn't their fault."

 _ **Their**_? Weiss wondered perplexed now as she cautiously watches her friend, her stomach balling into a knot.

Qrow recovers from Ruby's outburst, "But we are not a judge or jury or even executioners. That's not what we do. That's not what you-"

This made Ruby laugh suddenly in disbelief, "You defending him?!"

"What? No of course not. Ruby-"

"Well you must be because I have a hard time believing you are giving me adult life lessons here about morality." She countered venomously, "You nearly got us killed at that damned farm!"

Qrow looked like he had been slapped, and made no move to defend himself, not that Ruby gave him a chance, "You said we would leave by first light, but you let us oversleep because of your late night binge drinking."

 _Tiredness and a sense of hopelessness. The expression on their faces as they had been about ready to leave. A well was hypnotically calling to her. Beckoning her towards it. The Relic of Knowledge suddenly in her hand as she stares longingly into its blackness, "_ _ **I am...really...tired...**_ _" Her own detached voice echoing in her head as she longed to drop the thing into its pool of darkness_.

"You were too drunk to know what was happening. How…how…" Her voice trails off now, not knowing how to continue. Crescent Rose is feeling heavy in her hand, she grabbed her head with her other hand, haunting images come to her again:

_They are on all fours when they heard the Grimm Apathy scream. The sense of wanting to give up, until Maria calls out about the exit in front of them up a set of stairs. She crawls towards Weiss, begging her to move forward when she hears a weapon dropping echoing in the tunnels. Turning back she sees Blake on the ground with the Grimm coming ever closer, "_ _**Blake...get... up!** _ _"_

"How I almost killed us." Ruby managed out finally.

_Auburn pupils dilate and her voice is soft as she sighs out, "_ _**It's fine...** _ _"_

_She watches as the faunus gets a dazed look. More Grimm emerge from the entrance. Horror floods her and fuels the desperation. She crawls and attempts to reach out towards Blake, who continues to lie down motionless. The Grimm reach their hands down to the cat faunus, "_ _**BLAAAAAKE!** _ _"_

As she hears her echoed voice in her head, she snaps back to reality and lunges forward. Qrow just barely raised his weapon to defend himself. Once more a loud clang echoes in the training area, startling the on lookers. Weiss, Winter, Ren, Nora, and Jaune made a more towards them when Qrow calls out, "Stay back!"

"But-" Nora states not liking that this is happening.

"His semblance is misfortune." Yang said as Qrow and Ruby are moving in their deadly dance, she is the only one who did not move to his defense, "He cannot control it. It is not discriminate who it affects. It's why when he fights with us, it is with the enemy who is furthest away."

"Ruby-" Oscar got out weakly, not liking there was nothing he could do to help.

Before Yang could comment, Harbinger and Crescent Rose once more became locked together as Ruby and Qrow pushed against one another, "Let's not forget Argus." Ruby growled out as she tries to push Qrow back, "Leaving us in front of that damn Atlas military base while you drank in self-pity."

Each accusation made him wince, eyes that had once been filled with wonder and admiration for him, were now looking at him with distain. He growled low against Ruby's strength, wondering when she had become the stronger one. He allowed her to push against him for a bit longer before suddenly shifting his weight and moving to the one side causing her to be thrown off balance.

He shifted his weapon from sword to gun and fired at her. Ruby shifted and blocked the dust round before shifting into her semblance to appear behind him. He vaulted over her and quickly shifted from gun mode into war scythe mode, swinging it around. Ruby vanished into petals once more and appeared out of range, swinging her scythe around to meet his, "Then you have the gall to try and shoot down our plan after we found you passed out from another episode of drinking? Yea let's keep giving life lessons out like they're candy. Brilliant move on your part." She got out as if the conversation had not been paused.

Both scythes swung around and with the amount of power in both wielders swings, the force of the blows blew the two apart, causing both auras to shimmer. Ruby recovered the quickest and made to move towards Qrow again but was met with a giant ice knight in front of the older reaper. Ruby's eyes widened and she diverted her course. Everyone else looked at Weiss, standing back straight and Myrtenaster pointing in the direction of the makeshift battle field, "Quick someone disarm her now while she's-"

"Weiss…" Ruby breathes out and they look towards the young reaper. Crescent Rose is finally released from her grasp and falls to the floor, "No…no…Weiss no…"

Panic. She's panicking. All she can see is Weiss, near lifeless on the ground surrounded by Jaune, Nora, and Ren. She's holding her head, trying to gain some sense of reality. Weiss's body changes to Blake's in the tunnels, surrounded by Grimm, "No…please Blake no…my fault…"

Yang run's forward with Blake behind her now, the ice knight vanishes as Weiss follows. Qrow is already by her and pushes Crescent Rose away from her reach, "Ruby…Ruby we're here…"

Ruby doesn't hear him, and instead pushes him away from her, "Stop it!"

"Ruby its ok. Its-" Yang tries to get out as Jaune, while supporting Oscar, with Nora and Ren come over.

Ruby again moves away. She sees their hopelessness and defeat at learning the truth about the fight with Salem. She sees her friends in their weakened state trying to help battle the mecha. She hears the screams of the people in Argus when the Grimm start attacking. Then the fighting in Mantel after the elections and the party itself.

Winter stands by Qrow's side as he holds Ruby's weapon and his in his hands, "Ruby please it's alright." Weiss said softly, "Let us in to help you."

Weiss voice reaches Ruby somewhat. She looks up and sees her team's faces but her face focuses on her sister's. Once more the image merges with Penny's own devastating expression and she cannot stop that particular vision from playing out again, "It wasn't her fault!" Ruby yelled desperately.

"Who-" Weiss asked surprised but relieved that Ruby no longer wore a menacing expression.

"Yang's!" Ruby yelled again desperate to get her message across as they looked at her in shock with the exception of Winter and Qrow, "She didn't attack Mercury!" Then she growled out in pain as her head throbbed.

"The tournament?! This goes back to Vytal-" Yang asked wide eyed and looked to see the Specialist and her uncle not looking so surprised, "You knew?!"

"Suspected." Winter said, "Based on footage from it and what we were able to decipher from her report."

Weiss looked at her sister with slight distain for not being outright forthcoming until she hears Ruby growl out, "Jaune…"

Jaune steps forward, "I'm here Ruby…I'm-"

"We have to go!" Ruby stated urgently to Weiss.

Weiss saw the panic and determination in the silver depths and immediately it was dawning on her what was happening. To Ruby, she was not in Atlas Academy, she was in the hell that had begun all of these terrible events to take place: the battle of Beacon. Looking at the rest of them, she saw the others come to the same realizations. Hence why Ruby wasn't responding to them, but only to Weiss because she was there with her, "Let her play it out." Winter said gently seeing Weiss's own panic expression.

"We have to get up there!" Weiss looks back to Ruby and sees that she is pointing to some training tower. In a heartbreaking moment she knew what came next, as did Jaune when she saw his face go sickeningly pale.

"Ruby we are-"

"Weiss we have to get up there! There isn't much time!" Ruby said urgently, not knowing why her partner was hesitating on this.

"Wait a minute. She froze the Wyvern with her powers." Ren said quietly, "If we let her play this out, then-"

"There is a chance that she might activate them here." Nora finished, "We saw what Cinder looked like. Who knows what she might unintentionally do to us…"

They all looked at each other, then to the experienced hunters, "Play it out. Someone meet her at the top then knock her out." Qrow said sadly looking at Weiss, "It's the only way to snap her out of this."

Weiss met their gazes and nodded. Blake disappeared from the group and they watched the cat faunus scale the other towers, waiting to meet Ruby. Yang looked away as Weiss hesitated a moment longer, "You can do this…" Weiss said more to herself than to Ruby as she summoned a trail of glyphs.

Ruby sprang from her spot onto the glyphs, part of her mind internally screaming at her that something was wrong with this situation. However the emotional part had broken the flood gates and refused to believe anything else. Once she reached the top though, she stopped and it was like an ice bath overcame her and each horrible event came to her, hitting her with ten times the power than the initial trauma. Every bottled emotion erupted like a volcano. She wasn't aware that she was screaming until she felt her eyes burning a familiar burn before blacking out completely.

Blake stood over her with Gambol Shroud out and looked sadly down at her leader, "I'm sorry Ruby."

"I got her." Blake turned to see Yang climbing up now and throwing her sister's arm over her shoulder, having all of Ruby's deadweight lean on her, "I might have to tell her though to layoff the cookies." It was a poor attempt at a joke, but at least it loosened up the tension.

They got down using Weiss's glyphs and they looked at the young reaper sadly, "Let's bring her and Mr. Pine to the medical wing, and then we will all have a talk." Winter said, "Because clearly there are unresolved issues that need to be dealt with and I am not just talking about your team leader." With that they followed the Specialist out of the training area knowing that her words rang true. After hearing and seeing Ruby's outburst, they all felt old wounds that had not quite healed reopening.


	4. Chapter 4

They were in Winter's office after dropping Oscar and Ruby off at the hospital wing. Oscar once more recounting his fight with Ruby. The aforementioned cloaked leader was still unconscious, but the nurse evaluated her and assured them that there was no lasting harm that Blake had done to knock the young woman out was serious. It was merely more emotional and physical exhaustion that kept Ruby out like a light. The nurse had eventually kicked them out with the assurance they could come back later.

"A therapist? Seriously?" Yang asked grudgingly as she stares at the man before them.

"As rare as this is," Weiss drawled out eyeing the man in front of them arms crossed, "I agree with Yang. Are you seriously saying we need a therapist?"

The man had on small rectangular glasses that seemed to enhance his molten amber eye color giving the feeling that he could see through anyone's personality, "Ms. Xiao-Long, Ms. Schnee; it has come to my attention that after the recent events of Ms. Rose's…meltdown…" he said delicately, "it is best we clear the air now so as to prevent further…outbursts." The tone the man used reminded them of a wise old owl. His brown hair sticking up in places that reminded them of a Great Horned Owl's feather tuffs.

"Look we have our issues yes;" Jaune said gently holding up a hand to prevent anyone from retorting back, "however I think…today's events aside…we've done rather well managing them."

"Regardless." Winter said hands behind her back, standing behind her large desk, "I'd feel better that as licensed huntsmen and huntresses if you spoke to a professional about any repressed feelings you may have regarding past traumas."

"So you want us to spill our feelings…feelings we may have already dealt with on our own time…to some complete and total stranger?" Blake asked skeptically.

Qrow sighs and comments before anyone else could, "Look kids, there are a lot of things that have happened, and no real time to process anything. I agree with Ice Queen-" he was shot a look for this nickname, "something could trigger anything that you think you have dealt with when you are out there. Who knows? Ruby could unknowingly be a catalyst for any of you." He looked down and away at this comment, her words about his drinking still eating at him.

"Do not blame Ruby for this." Nora said in a low tone stepping towards Winter's desk.

"She is right. Ruby-" Ren started to defend the red cloaked leader.

"We are not trying to blame Ms. Rose." Dr. Stevens says gently, his tone diffusing what is appearing to be a volatile situation, "As it stands however, Ms. Rose's selflessness also means she is not dealing with her own issues."

They all went silent at this, not knowing what to say. Winter looks at the young people in front of them before resting on her sister, "Tell me sister," Weiss looked at her, "Ms. Rose has helped all of you in some way correct?"

"Of course she has!" Weiss replied harsher than she intended.

Winter took no notice of the tone, "She has helped you deal with the trauma that you all have endured. Been a shoulder for all of your burdens?"

They became uncomfortable now, as if somehow feeling it was their fault, "We are not saying this to blame you all." Dr. Stevens said reading the situation now, "Ms. Rose has long been compartmentalizing and internalizing her grief, which unfortunately has led to this moment in time. If this is not dealt with, then her grief will eventually destroy her." Dr. Stevens warns slowly and calmly.

Jaune looks at them and sighs, "So we are doing this more so for Ruby. So she will be more willing to open up and get her feelings out in the open…as much as it is for us."

"Precisely." Winter said nodding as she looked at Qrow.

"We are not punishing you." Qrow said, "We are trying to help you all. Besides this might benefit all parties."

When no one had any objections the good doctor smiled, "Well then I will see you all tomorrow and we shall begin." Taking this as a dismissal they left the room.

"Thank you Doctor Stevens." Winter said taking her seat.

He held up a hand, "No thank you for bringing this to my attention. Too many huntsmen and huntresses opt to not seek the help they need until it is too late." He then motioned to the seat opposite her desk and she nodded. Taking the seat he leans forward, hands clasped, "Now then where shall we begin?"

This brought the two adults up short, "I'm sorry?" Winter asked as Qrow shrugged.

"Did you want to go first Specialist Schnee or…Mr. Branwen was it? How about you? I'm sure that episode with your niece cannot have bode well with your recent sobriety if you do not mind my say so."

Qrow and Winter looked at each other. Qrow held up a fist, "Rock, paper, scissor? Loser goes first?"

"That's so juvenile." Winter huffed. She then smirked and pulled out her saber, "Best two out of three? Loser goes first?" Qrow smirked and they took off to the training room. Dr. Stevens sighed and stood up, grabbing his files. He exits the office with the sense of a lot of work ahead of him.

_**-SNOOPYKID-** _

"My sister is just looking out for our wellbeing." Weiss said slowly and deliberately glaring at Yang.

"Oh yea sure. This coming from the resident emotionally stunted ex-heiress." Yang counters, lavender eyes flickering red for a moment.

Weiss narrowed her eyes, "I'm sorry but you calling me 'emotionally stunted'? That is laughable. If I am emotionally stunted then you have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

"Guys." Jaune called out trying to get their attention.

"Frigid bitch."

"Brute." The two got into each other's faces and growled at one another.

This argument started when they had gotten back to the common room rather than breaking up into their own rooms. The discussion had turned from Ruby to the idea of talking with a therapist. Yang adamantly stating they didn't need one and that this was a team matter that should have been handled by the team, and Weiss stating that perhaps someone to help wouldn't be as bad as they were thinking.

"Ok that is quite enough." Blake said braving the two stubborn women and pushing them apart to stand between them, "Yang go to that corner, Weiss go to the other corner." The two glared at one another, not moving, "Now." Blake stated firmly glaring between her two teammates.

Grumbling they did as they were told, "Now then. I agree that this should have been settled as a team, however think rationally for a moment." Blake started to say to the group, "Why did it take for Ruby to nearly killing Yang in the room for us to realize that something was wrong?"

They were silent for a long moment, "She just hid it well." Nora said slowly, "Now looking on it, she always insisted on taking last watch."

Ren nodded, "The quiet moments she'd get this look to her. I just assumed she was missing you three."

Jaune sighed and rubbed his face with both his hands, "I asked you to help Pyrrha. I had her go up to that tower."

"Ok no more blame game here. You didn't make Ruby do anything. She did what she thought was the right thing to do." Yang stated firmly, "Blake is right. There were so many opportunities to make Ruby talk to us and confront her." She looked at Weiss, "I'm sorry, but I do not handle heavy emotion very well. I tend to brush things off with a joke or really react with anger when really stressed…I suppose is it any wonder why Ruby 'compartmentalizes and internalizes' emotions that are her own?"

Weiss sighs, "I am her partner. I promised I would be the best she'd ever have. I guess she had us focused on the mission, she never gave us any time for us to truly see her." Looking at the blonde she says, "I'm sorry too. My family is not really good with handling emotions either, I am learning though. Trying hard to not come off as a 'frigid bitch'."

"You aren't." Yang says coming closer to the middle near Blake.

Weiss approaches as well, "Then you are not a complete brute."

"Ok so apology session is over." Nora says standing up and crossing her arms, "How do we feel about this 'therapy' session?"

"It cannot hurt that much can it?" Ren asks, "I mean there are some things that are still holding us back. Like they said, Ruby acting out could cause a catalyst for us in some cases; so do we really want to take that chance?"

Blake has her own arms crossed. Recalling the events of Beacon and then with Adam in both case. Hearing Ruby's cries echoing in her head with the events at Brunswick Farms. She feels a cool metal hand around her own, "Hey, its ok." She looks to see Yang smiling at her, "We are here right? That's what matters yes?"

Blake smiles, "Yes." Then she frowns uneasily, "However there is one other thing we are forgetting about."

"What's that?" Jaune asked.

"How are we going to tell Ruby about this?" Blake questioned.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I would think you would know better than to pick a fight with me." Blake and Weiss sighed and stood back. This was going to end poorly and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
> 
> "You're right." Ruby commented taking a step back, "I do know better than to pick a fight with you."
> 
> Yang just watched her sister, unsure where this was headed but at the same time looking at Blake and Weiss as if just remembering they were there in the room with them, "So then am I not going to have to beat some sense into you?"
> 
> Ruby took a deep breath and said, "You could try, but I am not going to let you win that easily."

"Therapy?" The young leader asked arms crossed, eyebrow cocked and posture screaming 'defense', "You're joking right?"

"Yes to the first question and no to the second question." Yang responded as she leaned against their door, blocking the only exit from the room.

It had been a week since the incident at the training room. In that week, WBY and JNR had visited the owl like doctor, and the nurse had discharged both Ruby and Oscar. It was noticed though that there was tension in the air between the young woman and the former farmhand. Not to say that Ruby was angry anymore; after all she hadn't had a problem with Oscar personally. She did end up fixing Long Memory for him, that being one of the first of many tasks she felt she had to do; while it was her fault she had to fix it to begin with, she also did not want to face her team.

Ruby laughed humorlessly, "Yeah no thank you." She walked to her desk and sat down in the chair, she still had a report to re-write. Another task she had been actively avoiding.

"Seriously?" Blake demanded, "You nearly slice Yang's throat and then tried to murder Oscar. You didn't even know where you were."

Ruby looked away now and they saw how her eyes had dimmed. It had been decided that team RWBY handle their leader and tell her the news of the therapy sessions if Jaune, Nora, and Ren would tell Oscar. They had been skeptical in the beginning when they had started their sessions, but at the end of each session they had indeed felt better, "It was an accident. Yang startled me and-"

"There are no 'ands' Ruby." Weiss said gently going over to the desk, "You were not there mentally. If I hadn't-"

"I know!" Ruby yelled furiously making Weiss flinch. Seeing this she says more softly, "I know, but we can settle this as a t-"

"No we can't." Yang states getting off the door. She sighs and also goes over to her sister, placing a hand on her shoulder noticing how Ruby tries to flinch away, "Ruby, Qrow and Winter are right. This is beyond us. If we are going to hold official hunters licenses then we need to make sure we can handle the stress properly that comes with the job."

"Handle stress properly? Coming from you that's a laugh." Ruby chuckled out darkly, throwing her sister's hand off her shoulder before getting back up and pacing the room.

The three of them give each other a look before Blake sighs, "Look Ruby we are all under a lot of stress you more so than us perhaps; but locking up your feelings and trying to run from them is not the answer."

"This coming from the resident team runner." Blake winced at this comment, "Next please."

"Ruby seriously we are not trying to attack you. We are trying to help you. You need to talk to someone." Weiss said easily.

Ruby glared darkly at them, feeling the room closing in on her. Closing her eyes she tries to take a deep breath and releases it before stopping her violent pacing, "Fine. Ok fine. Yes what I did was really out of character. I attacked Yang and Oscar and Qrow. I was in a violent flashback and I didn't know where I was. That is a problem I know." Reopening her eyes no longer wanting to think about those events she says, "But I think I deserve a chance to reevaluate myself before I talk to this…therapist. I mean how can we even trust him?"

"We didn't tell him anything like confidential. Just stuff that was like public knowledge and how we felt during the aftermath of everything." Yang explained at least slightly relieved that Ruby was at least listening to them now.

"And you don't have a choice in the matter." Weiss said looking at Yang before shifting back to Ruby, "Winter made it mandatory that we see him until he deems us fit to return to active duty."

Ruby threw her hands up, "Not have a choice? Great. What happened to 'being sick of everyone making choices for me' _**partner**_?" She sneered out.

Again Weiss winced and this time took a step away from Ruby, eyes wide. This was going poorly. On top of it, she never had Ruby speak to her like this before. Never even seen this side of Ruby before.

Ruby's back was turned after she had given Weiss a look of disgust. She either hadn't noticed or just didn't care, "You know what, that is way too snotty a thing even for alternate universe Ruby to say. You owe us an apology." Yang said in a warning tone daring to take a step towards her sister. Blake had slipped next to Weiss to offer the former heiress some kind of support, and trying to get ready for the blow up that was about to come.

"Or what Yang? News flash I am not a child anymore."

"Really? Could've fooled me with the way you're acting right now." Ruby ignored her and Yang finally had enough. She stormed over to Ruby and forced the team leader to turn and look at her, "Hey! I get you are having problems right now, but this is not an excuse to bite our heads off."

Silver eyes met flaming red, "Then get off my back." Ruby growled out.

"No. Not until you actually listen to us and get it through your thick head that you need this."

Ruby and Yang glared at each other, an electrifying heat filling the room. Blake and Weiss stood off to the side, sharing a look with one another. They did not know how to proceed about breaking the sisters apart, or if they even should. Sure they would have minor spats in Beacon, but this was different. Blake sighed and took the first initiative, "Ok guys let's settle down and take a deep breath before the both of you say something that you might regret." She goes over to Yang and places a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder, but Yang shrugs it off never breaking her gaze towards Ruby.

Weiss takes a deep breath and goes to her partner, trying the same attempt that Blake had done, "Ruby please. We are trying to look out for you." Ruby threw her hand off as well, her gaze never breaking Yang's.

"I do not need anyone telling me what I am thinking or feeling." Ruby growled out to Yang.

"What you need is help." Yang said, "Picking a fight with us is not the answer."

"I wasn't trying-"

"Then what the hell are you trying to do now? You are taking cheap shots at Blake, Weiss, and myself." Then smirking humorlessly, she adds, "I would think you would know better than to pick a fight with me." Blake and Weiss sighed and stood back. This was going to end poorly and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

"You're right." Ruby commented taking a step back, "I do know better than to pick a fight with you."

Yang just watched her sister, unsure where this was headed but at the same time looking at Blake and Weiss as if just remembering they were there in the room with them, "So then am I not going to have to beat some sense into you?"

Ruby took a deep breath and said, "You could try, but I am not going to let you win that easily."

"Ruby you are going to this doctor."

"Stop trying to tell me what to do!" Ruby yelled now, "You are not dad and you are most certainly not my mother! So stop trying to act like her!" It was like being slapped as Yang faltered for a moment. Ruby took this opportunity to use her semblance and dart out of the room.

Blake and Weiss sighed, "Well that went swimmingly." Weiss commented dryly.

"Really Weiss?" Blake asked as she gave the former heiress a deadpanned gaze. Then looking at the blonde she asks, "Are you alright?"

Yang sits on the bed and hides her face in her hands before looking at the monochrome pair, "No, but I guess we will be eventually. For now she is right, we cannot force her to do anything."

"But Winter-" Weiss started to say.

"I know what Winter said. However she also has to be the one to seek help."

"How do we get her to do that?" Blake asked, ears flat against her head. Yang shrugged and the three of the sighed, hoping things will turn out for the best.

_**-SNOOPYKID-** _

Ruby found herself once more in the training room. No weapon this time, but still that didn't mean she was completely weaponless. For the past thirty minutes, she had her fists slamming into the heavy bag that hung in the area, "Stupid!" Left jab, "Idiot!" Left jab again, "Worthless!" Right jab, "Pathetic!" Right jab again, "Jackass!" This time she threw a left hook.

"Who exactly are you yelling at?" Ruby jumped and turned to face the person that interrupted her. A man with rectangular glasses and molten amber eyes spoke in a soft tone. His brown hair was sticking up in a way that reminded Ruby of an owl's feather tuffs that she had admired in the woods.

Ruby sent a glare at the heavy bag, "With all due respect, I want to be alone right now."

He nodded and motioned to her hands, "Alright, but a piece of advice? You might want to bandage those hands. Give them some protection against that inner rage you have going on there."

Ruby sighed and looked at her now bruised and slightly bloody knuckles, "Got any wrap on you?"

The man smiled, "Not on me, but I do have some in my office if you'd like." Ruby looked at him warily, "Come on kid. I won't bite."

Sighing Ruby followed him, "Alright. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. So kid, what's your name?"

"Ruby Rose." Ruby said as she followed him down the hall towards his office.

The man smiled brightly at her, "Really? The famous huntress."

"Famous?" Ruby asked bewildered, "What do you mean famous?" The man opened the door and motioned her in his office. Ruby caught a glance at the plaque on the door that read 'Erik Stevens PhD'. _**Oh crap baskets**_ , Ruby thought as she looked at him, his amber eyes sparkling in amusement as he saw the recognition in her own silver depths.

"Oh yes Ms. Rose, I know a lot about you." He answered her inner thought while the door was open, they still were in the threshold, as if he was giving her the option, "Not just from your team mind you, but I've read up on your file."

"I have a file?" Ruby asked intrigued.

"Yes you do. I must say it is quite impressive." He walked through the door first and went to his desk lifting up the thick manila envelope to show her.

Ruby hesitated for a brief moment in the threshold, "I-"

Doctor Stevens held up a hand, "I understand your reluctance. Believe me I was in the same boat you are in now. You don't have to talk, but are you at least willing to listen?" He dug into his desk and showed her the hand wraps he had mentioned to her earlier.

Ruby looked at him and for now did not sense anything threatening about the man in front of her, "Alright." She entered the office and closed the door accepting the hand wraps.

Sitting on the couch she wraps her hands while she waits for him to sit in the large chair, as he gathers his notebook and her file, "Like I said before, I really do find you impressive. At fifteen you entered Beacon Academy after stopping a dust robbery. Before that you trained hard at Signal; a protégée to Qrow Branwen in the art of scythe wielding. Tell me about Crescent Rose."

"I thought I didn't have to talk. Just listen." Ruby asked.

"Ok general conversation it is; but we do have to have a give-take session. So mind if I ask a few non-personal questions?"

Ruby shrugged and said, "I guess if it was non-personal. Sure."

"Excellent. Do you know what this is?" Doctor Stevens asked holding up a small red stretchy circular object to Ruby.

"A rubber band?" She questioned with an eyebrow raised.

"Correct." He started stretching between his two pointer fingers, ideally playing with it, "Notice how it stretches?"

Ruby sighed and looked at him, "Yes. I'm sorry where are you going with this?"

He smiles at her and continues to play with it, "Do you know what you and the rubber band have in common?" At her silence and glare, he takes that as an answer to continue, "The more you stretch the rubber band, the less likely it'll start to retain its shape."

She watches him closely as he keeps stretching it, and sure enough the rubber starts to lose its roundness little by little, "So you are telling me I am a flimsy office supply? What happened to this being non-personal?"

He ignored her second question, "No I am saying you're like a strong elastic band, always being stretched and then being able to retain your shape. However as you so eloquently called this 'flimsy office supply', you are stretched so much that you eventually-" He stretched the band too far and it snapped. Ruby ducked her head as a piece went whizzing by her head, "Snap."

"Dude!" Ruby called out indigently, "Seriously you could have hurt me and you are supposed to be a doctor? Again I thought we weren't going to talk about me."

"Unfortunately we have to talk about you Ms. Rose. You are on a destructive path."

"I don't have to listen to this." Ruby said getting up and heading to the door, "Thanks but no thanks."

"My name is Ruby. I am the daughter of Summer Rose and Taiyang Xiao Long, as well as the younger half-sister of Yang Xiao Long." Ruby stopped just shy of reaching the door knob, she turned back around and saw in the doctor's hand a stapled piece of paper, he continued reading the paper, "My sister would read me fairy tales every night before bed, filled with the deeds of great heroes; I had hoped to be one of those heroes one day and the way I can reach this goal is to be a huntress." He placed the paper down and said, "Tell me Ms. Rose does what you describe in this essay sound like who you are now?"

Ruby closed her eyes and sighed, "I don't know who I am anymore."

"Ruby give me a chance. I've been where you are. I know how you might be feeling. All heroes need help sometimes. Let me help you." She looked at him and saw something genuine in his eyes.

Ruby looked up at his ceiling and swore under her breath and sat back down, "Fine. However what I say sticks between us right? Patient Confidentiality and all that?"

"Unless you are in danger to yourself or others then yes of course." He said seriously.

Shaking her head she said, "Fine. Where do we start?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this going to be a 'tell me about your childhood' type question?" Ruby asked, "A bit stereotypical don't you think?"
> 
> "Is it no longer true that the best stories start from the beginning?"
> 
> "Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end; not necessarily in that order." Ruby countered sitting back and crossing her arms in the process.
> 
> Dr. Stevens nodded as he too sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, Ruby's file and his note book resting on the one raised leg. He peers over his glasses to look at her, amber eyes shining in amusement, "That is a very well put philosophical view. However we are not here to discuss philosophy I am afraid." He fixes his posture and sighs deeply, "Tell me about your mother."

"So how do we do this?" Ruby asked still feeling guarded.

"Well you could have a seat for starters." Doctor Erik Stevens suggested easily not making any sudden movements.

Ruby looked at the door and sighed, "Alright." She moves back to the couch and sits down, unwrapping her hands in the process to see that her aura had healed the bruises and bleeding of her knuckles.

He watches her closely, "Let's start from the beginning."

"Is this going to be a 'tell me about your childhood' type question?" Ruby asked, "A bit stereotypical don't you think?"

"Is it no longer true that the best stories start from the beginning?"

"Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end; not necessarily in that order." Ruby countered sitting back and crossing her arms in the process.

Dr. Stevens nodded as he too sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, Ruby's file and his note book resting on the one raised leg. He peers over his glasses to look at her, amber eyes shining in amusement, "That is a very well put philosophical view. However we are not here to discuss philosophy I am afraid." He fixes his posture and sighs deeply, "Tell me about your mother."

"What does my mother have to do with this?" Ruby asked suspiciously.

"I believe…" the good doctor started off slowly and taking a deep breath continues, "some of this repressed trauma that you are experiencing stems back to the loss of your mother."

Ruby stands up angrily, "Shut. Up. You have no idea what you are talking about." She goes over to the window to see the Atlesian view, "I knew this was a bad idea." She growls out and storms over to the door.

"Team STRQ." These words made Ruby stop at the door once more. Her eyes closed and head turned away, hand lingering on the handle, "Summer Rose, Taiyang Xiao Long, Raven Branwen and Qrow Branwen. After their Beacon years the team graduated to become hunters and huntresses. Eventually Taiyang and Raven married, having a daughter. Raven had left after a few years. Eventually Summer entered a relationship with Taiyang, the two having a daughter, Ruby Rose."

"How do you-?" Ruby started to ask turning to face him, however her answer was given when she sees him reading from another file.

He didn't pay attention as she returned to her seat and continued reading, "Summer had helped raise Raven's daughter, Yang Xiao Long. You all lived in Patch, but your mother continued to take on missions as a huntress. There was one mission however that she-"

"Never came back." Ruby finished uncharacteristically dark in tone and glare at the man in front of her, hands balled into fists, "If you have all this information, why ask me the damn question? Did you do this with Yang? Or my team for that matter?"

"As I assured you, there is a promise of patient confidentially. What is disclosed by your team with me stays between them and myself." Dr. Stevens warned Ruby. Now the reaper felt scolded and a bit unnerved as the amber eyes that held amusement with their earlier banter, now flared with hard analyzing look that could see through her, "Now then as for why I am doing this, you were less than forthcoming with the answer for the question I asked. So feel like cooperating?"

Ruby mentally shook herself, "Alright fine. I was told my mother had gone this mission, but the details of that mission were unknown. I was really young at the time to be able to fully comprehend what had happened. Recently my uncle Qrow," this she steadied herself and thought before she continued forward. Her conversation with Qrow that night in the stands did not really have anything of importance, so she continued with her thought, "told me that the mission in question was a secret of my mother's."

"Ok and that is fine. We'll come back to that last part later, for now going back to you Ms. Rose. A young child such as yourself during that time wouldn't be expected to be able to comprehend something so terrible." He said encouragingly, secretly pleased that Ruby had returned to her seat, "So then it says here that your father did not handle the news so well with Summer's disappearance. Is that correct?"

Ruby glared, "Well what do you think? My father loss my mother with little to no information as to what the hell happened." Then coughing she took a deep breath and looked away from him, "He had completely shut down. Yang had…to…raise…" Ruby's eyes widened and her eyes started to glisten a bit, "Me."

Dr. Stevens nodded and didn't comment on what he saw in the reaper's eyes, the formation of tears and guilt, as she quickly whipped them and coughed slightly, "Your uncle? What of him?"

"He…uhm…he wasn't involved much. He stopped by when he could to check in on us, but he was always away on missions." Ruby responded, "I mean when he was home, Yang still took care of me; however I knew she was hurting too…I heard her confessing to Qrow one day about how she cannot be a kid anymore…"

Stevens nodded again and wrote down what she was saying, "She hid a lot of her own sadness and anger to take on the responsibility of raising you, your father had shut down, and your uncle was not really in the picture. Is it correct to assume then that you didn't know how to process your own emotions?"

Ruby frowned deeply and now chose to make eye contact with the doctor, "I know how to process my emotions. Where the hell did you get that idea from based on what you asked of me?"

Stevens sits back and waves his pen around while speaking, "Well unless I misunderstood, and forgive me if I had, you didn't have many role models in your early life on how to deal with heavy complex emotions such as grief. Nor did you really have any role models on how to properly express those complex emotions other than internalizing and harboring those feelings."

"Do not go blaming them for that." Ruby said in a deadly tone.

"Did I say I was?" Stevens asked cocking an eyebrow not even phased.

Ruby stared him down, before letting out the breath she was holding, "No. No I suppose not."

He watched her for a moment before jotting down some more notes on the subject, "Does that happen often?"

"What?"

"Blurting out something before fully realizing you are doing it?"

"I mean if you are asking if I think before I act, admittedly there are times that doesn't always happen…"

He shook his head, "Not quite what I mean. Here let's back up for a moment and jump ahead to what happened last week. Your fight with Qrow when you admitted to wanting to kill Tyrian Callows."

"Ok…"

"Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"That you should have ended his life when you had the chance. Did you mean it?"

Ruby wanted to deny it, however she found herself at odds with herself. So she opted to stall for time, "Why do you ask?"

"Do you know who Sigmund Freud is?" Ruby shook her head, "He was a famous physiologist, medical doctor, and the father of the psychoanalysis." Seeing Ruby's unimpressed look, he finishes his explanation with, "Pretty much he contributed to the school of thought emphasizing the influence of the unconscious mind on behavior."

"Great history lesson, but what does that have to do with me?" Ruby asked.

Dr. Stevens smiles lightly, "It means that you unconscious thoughts and feelings can transfer to the conscious mind in the form of parapraxes." Again seeing Ruby's perplexed look, he says, "You know this as 'slips of the tongue'."

Ruby's eyes light up for the first time since they started the conversation, "So like what comes out of our mouth is what's really…on…our…min-oh crap baskets."

"Yes. So while you were not fully conscious of what you were saying, your unconscious was acting on your behalf to say what you really felt. Like you so eloquently put, we reveal what is really on our mind by saying something we didn't mean to."

Ruby stared at him before looking away, "I am…I didn't…" She placed her face in her hands and rubbed her face with exasperation, "What does that have to do with the way I grew up?"

"As I said, you internalize and harbor your feelings. You'd rather focus on other people's problems than your own. You hope that by doing this, your problems won't seem as significant."

"So it's wrong to care about other people than myself?"

"Well normally no. It is an admirable trait. However when you use it to try and forget your problems…then it is selfish and can, or in your case, will destroy you."

Ruby sat in silence and contemplated his answer for a moment, "I…I don't…I didn't realize…"

He looked at her with pity, "Freud believed that slips of the tongue provided an insight into the unconscious mind and that there were no accidents, every behavior was significant."

"So you believe that I was willing to commit murder for a just cause."

"I am saying that was what your unconscious mind must have thought." Ruby frowned deeply and got up again to go to the window, "It doesn't make you a bad person Ruby."

Ruby shook her head and then continued to stare out the window, "I must be if I admitted to wanting to play executioner. Just earlier I yelled at my sister and picked a fight with my team before going to the heavy bag."

Stevens nodded, "I see, well what if we do this then; I think we had some pretty stronger breakthroughs, so why don't we break for today."

"Breakthroughs? Seriously you call this a breakthrough?"

"You stayed right? We had an open discussion that I think went a long way." Ruby stared at him disbelievingly, "So why don't we pick up the same time tomorrow, however a bit of homework is due I believe."

"Homework?! What the hell is this, school?"

"I want you to write about how you felt when your mother didn't come home."

He didn't miss the small flash that glinted in her eyes, "What?"

"You heard me. In fact I want you to write it in this journal." He handed her a black leather bound book, "Any feelings you have-positive or negative-I want you to write down."

She hesitantly took the book from him and opened it to flip through the blank pages. She looks at him and says, "You really want me to do this?"

He nodded, "Yes and do not worry, you will only be sharing it with me. No one else will know."

Taking a shaky breath she asks, "You think this will really help?"

He stood up from his chair and went to the desk, "It can't hurt can it?"

"I suppose not. So I guess same time tomorrow?" She asks making sure she heard that part correctly.

Dr. Stevens nodded, "You got it." She went to the door and opened it. She looked back one more time, to make sure she was really good to go before exiting his office to head back to her room. Somehow she didn't feel much different, but at the same time she felt slightly lighter. It was an odd feeling, but one that at least didn't have her in turmoil for once.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone. I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong. How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay? Now I'm trapped inside a nightmare every single f'ing day. It's like a movie, but there's not a happy ending. Every scene fades black, and there's no pretending. This little fairy tale doesn't seem to end well. There's no knight in shining armor who will wake me from the spell.

"So she didn't take it well huh?" Jaune asked with sympathy looking at WBY.

They relocated themselves to the cafeteria after Ruby had failed to return to their dorm after about an hour and a half. However they were not hungry, instead they were pushing their food around their plates. Jaune, Nora, Ren, and Oscar had joined them, but just like the three young women, they weren't feeling like dinner either, "Nope." Yang commented. They had told their sister team about Ruby's reaction to having to go to therapy, "She stormed off again. We waited for her to come back, but she hadn't returned."

"I am sure she'll be back soon." Nora said more confidently than she felt, "It's not like she could have gotten far without someone knowing."

They saw through her words and bravado however, "It's Ruby." Weiss said softly, recalling her friend's betrayed and angry expression, "I am sure she has thought of an escape if need be."

Blake was fed up with the pretenses and pushed her plate away, "It's precisely the problem. It _**is**_ Ruby."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yang asked slowly and almost dangerously.

Blake cocked an eyebrow at this, not at all phased by her partner's deadly glare, "Easy Yang. I know how protective you are, however I would appreciate it if you would not jump down my throat."

Yang's eyes flashed red before she let out a sigh and deflated, "Right I'm sorry. Continue."

Blake gave her a look of sympathy, "It's alright. Anyway Ruby has always shown to be a formidable leader and strategist, but Ruby is not really thinking right now which makes this an overall problem. She's desperate to escape whatever is going through her head, so who knows what she might end up doing."

"Point taken." Yang mumbled out pushing her plate aside.

"Should I try talking to her?" Oscar asked cautiously, "To further show there are no hard feelings or something?"

Ren shook his head, "I don't think that is a good idea. As well intentioned as it may be, I think antagonizing her further would make things worse."

Weiss shook her head and pulled her scroll out, "I think I am going to head back to the room, maybe Ruby will be back now."

"I'll come with you. I am not hungry anyway." Yang said as she got up.

Blake followed suit, "Same."

"Want us to come with? For support?" Nora asked softly feeling sorry for the seemingly broken team.

"Eh the less people the better. Thanks anyway though." Yang responded.

Jaune nodded and placed a hand on Nora's shoulder when she went to protest, "We understand. We are here if you need us though." WBY waved at them and walked back to the room.

In the meantime, Ruby was indeed back at the room. She had gotten back after her session with Dr. Stevens to find it empty, but welcomed the emptiness. Part of her found it unbelievable that she really did go to the therapy session that she was vehemently against. It did help though, she finished her report fairly quickly, but now was focusing on the black leather bound book in front of her, " _ **I want you to write about how you felt when your mother didn't come home.**_ "

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Not knowing if she was trying to call upon those dormant feelings, or bury them further down as she heard his instructions, " _ **In fact I want you to write it in this journal.**_ _**Any feelings you have-positive or negative-I want you to write down.**_ "

She reopens her eyes and stares at the book, " _ **You think this will really help?**_ " She echoed her question.

As if the book was speaking back at her, she heard the answer, " _ **It can't hurt can it?**_ "

She had answered in his office that she had supposed not; but now the moment had come and she was unsure of that response. There were a lot of ways that this could hurt, but it was something she needed to do. Swallowing she opened the cover and wrote on the first page her name.

Ok good start, she nodded in satisfaction, and then she deflated. She was procrastinating and she knew it. Turning to the next blank page, she sighed and thought back to that night, " _Tai! Tai we gotta talk!_ " Her uncle's frantic voice came to her mind.

" _No! I'm going to find her! She-_ "

" _Daddy? Daddy what happened? Where's mommy?_ " Yang. That had been Yang, she had been shielding her. Tears started to form and without much thought, she picked up her pen a started to write:

_**I couldn't take it, couldn't stand another minute. Couldn't bear another day without you in it. All of the joy that I had known for all my life, was stripped away from me the minute that you died. To have you in my life was all I ever wanted, but now without you, I'm a soul forever haunted. Can't help but feel that I had taken you for granted. No way in hell that I can ever comprehend this.** _

She stopped her pen and swallowed hard. She had been a small girl at the time and like the doctor pointed out, how could anyone have expected her to understand? " _She is gone Ruby_. _She isn't coming home._ " Her father had said. She didn't want to believe it. She couldn't believe it. This was her mother. She promised she'd be home. She'd promised she would stay.

It wasn't until they visited the gravesite that it had hit. The cold white stone sitting as a silent memorial to a memory. Her breathing quickened and her hand moved on her own accord:

_**I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone. I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong. How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay? Now I'm trapped inside a nightmare every single f'ing day. It's like a movie, but there's not a happy ending. Every scene fades black, and there's no pretending. This little fairy tale doesn't seem to end well. There's no knight in shining armor who will wake me from the spell.** _

She stopped writing for a moment and slammed her right fist on the desk, " _She isn't talking. It's like she's shut down_." It was a faint memory, however it was easily Yang's voice she recognized.

She recalled the service and what was called a 'wake'. These words though were spoken by her sister a week or so afterwards. Her father had shut down, and her sister had started to take care of her. Their uncle had stayed with them that next weekend. In the meantime Ruby couldn't bring herself to speak. What was there to say? Her father had already told her that her mother wasn't coming home, so what had been the point? She already cried and screamed when that confirmation was made, saying that her father and uncle were liars; but the headstone told a different story.

" _Yang_ …" Her young voice echoed in her head, and subconsciously she looked towards her sister's bed in their room. How could she have not understood…? Re-reading the words she had written, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath…pen once more flying across the page.

_**I know you didn't plan this. You tried to do what's right, but in the middle of this madness: I'm the one you left to win this fight. Red like roses, fills my head with dreams and finds me. Always closer, to the emptiness and sadness that has come to take the place of you.** _

She heard footsteps from outside and immediately recognized them as her teammates. She slammed the book shut and jumped on her bed, hiding the book underneath the pillow just as the door open, "So if she isn't back in here then we'll-Ruby!" Yang exclaimed in mid-sentence seeing her sister on the bed.

"Yang!" She exclaimed back jumping off. She wanted to run to her sister, but stopped herself. She looked into her sister's wide lilac eyes and a brief flash of a memory came to her, younger eyes full of sadness and hurt each time her sister looked at her. She hadn't been the only one that her mother had left, and a bitter sense of dread filled her stomach; her sister had been just as hurt too.

Blake coughed tactfully and pushed the brawler and the former heiress inside the room and closed the door behind them, "Glad to see that you are here." She said softly, hoping to end the eerie and awkward silence.

Ruby didn't respond right away she kept her eyes adverted and took a deep breath, "Yang." Her voice was a strangled mess, but she coughed and took a few shaky breaths, "Yang, I'm sorry."

"Ruby-"

"No! It was uncalled for. Especially after everything you did for me. I'm sorry!" She blurted out. Then looking at Blake and Weiss she says, "I'm so sorry guys. I really am."

"Hey it's ok. We are just glad you are here." Blake says softly.

Weiss took a step forward, "We've all said things that we have not meant when under a lot of emotional stress."

"It's still no excuse." Ruby muttered out stepping away from her team.

The girls rolled their eyes, "Look are you going to do it again?" Yang asked arms crossed.

"No but-"

"Are you going to at least try and listen to us without the attitude?" Blake asked allowing a small smirk to grace her features.

"Yes but-"

"Then stop with the pity." Weiss stated in what she hoped was her former 'ice queen' attitude, "Honestly we know that you wouldn't have reacted under normal circumstances so please stop apologizing." In a softer tone she adds, "We just want to help you."

Ruby took a deep breath and nodded, "Ok."

"Ok." Yang repeated, "Now can you tell us where you've been? You had us worried."

She looked at them and saw their soft and worried features, some part of her didn't want their worry nor did she believe that she deserved it, but swallowing the lump in her throat she thought back to her session with Dr. Stevens and says, "I went to the gym and started to hit the heavy bag this time. Some guy came up to me and we started talking. One thing led to another-"

"You went off to rendezvous with some stranger?!" Yang yelled out, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"NO! I went to therapy!" Ruby yelled angrily. Silence. Blazing silver eyes stared at disbelieving lilac, amber, and blue ones. The three girls turned their gazes away once they saw that Ruby was not joking. Closing her eyes, Ruby sighed deeply and restarted, "I met Dr. Stevens while I was…maiming the heavy bag in the gym. He took me to his office where I found out who he was. He…got me to open up…"

"You probably should have just said that in the beginning…" Blake stated slowly while Yang held a hand over her heart muttering something about 'innocence'.

"Well now I didn't think my older sister would think so little of me." Ruby stated arms crossed and eyebrow cocked, "Rendezvous? Seriously?" Weiss shook her head and hid a snort, "What?" Ruby asked.

"You accidently ended up in therapy. Something you were so…violently…against." This brought about another snort, "Irony."

Ruby allowed herself a small yet sad chuckle on how she ended up there, "At its finest I'd say."

"So…" Yang trailed off having recovered from her initial shock.

"What?"

"What did you think?"

Ruby hesitated, not sure what to divulge or keep to her chest. For now she just said, "It was alright. There are some things that I…need to work out and come to terms with…"

"Ok we can respect that." Weiss said gently seeing Ruby's discomfort. The three of them shared a look before she continued with, "Are you going to keep going or…?"

Ruby sighed and climbed on her bed while the others did the same, "I'll try it for a bit sure. As I said, I've acknowledge certain issues that I need to learn how to handle properly; and he seems…decent enough."

Blake nodded, "Would you consider joining us?" Ruby looked at her curiously, so Blake continued, "We had said that we do this as a group, as does Jaune, Nora, Ren, and Oscar. You don't have to do this alone."

Yang looked hopefully at her, "Yea Rubes. It'll be like a team trust exercise. Communication and all that jazz like we did in Beacon."

"Uhm…" Ruby trailed off, the sudden weight of the book that was hiding under her pillow being brought to the forefront of her mind.

Sensing this Weiss stepped in, not wanting to push Ruby any further, "You don't have to decide now." She then looked at Yang and gave the blonde a look to not argue or press the matter, "If you want to take this step by step that is more than fine. I am just glad you are giving this a chance."

"Thank you Weiss." Ruby whispered. Then looking at Yang she said, "I'll think about it, but for right now I think it is best I do this by myself."

"Sure Rubes. Anytime." Yang got up and grabbed her toiletries, "I think I am going to get ready for bed now."

"It has been an emotional day for us all." Blake agreed as she too gathered her things.

Weiss nodded as she grabbed her things as well, "You coming Ruby?"

Ruby smiled, "I'm already done. I figured I take care of everything before getting back to writing my report." The girls gave her a smile as she jumped back down from her bed, "I'm just going to get changed quick and turn in." They nodded as they left. She watched them leave the room, and once the door was closed she allowed her smile to fall. Lifting her pillow up, she sees the black book sitting there.

Sighing she took it and re-read what she wrote. She shook her head. She hated how she laid out all her feelings, even though Dr. Stevens told her it was alright to feel this way. However despite the pain she was feeling, she couldn't help but to defend her mother's actions. Taking the pen she was using, she writes one last thing: _**I know you're broken down by anger and by sadness. You feel I left you in a world that's full of madness; wish I could talk to you, if only for a minute, make you understand the reasons why I did it.**_

She threw the pen down in frustration. Does it really matter at this point? She left. She isn't coming back. With a growl, she stuffed her book back under her pillow and got ready for bed. By the time she was under the covers, the girls were back in the room. Minimal words were said and Ruby sank into the pillows, staring up at the ceiling, "The petals scatter now, every nightmare just discloses it's your blood that's red like roses…and no matter what I do, nothing ever takes the place of you." She muttered darkly.

"Ruby?" Weiss called up having heard the last part. Yang and Blake looked over just as Yang was going to flip the switch, "You ok?"

Ruby hummed and looked down, her mind slow to process the question, "Sorry Weiss, yea I am good. Just tired." The three girls shared an uneasy look, but not wanting to push, let it go as Ruby turned to face the wall just as the lights had gone out. When Ruby closed her eyes though, she didn't see darkness- instead the color was red.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories are a funny thing. Sometimes they warm you up from the inside, but they also tear you apart.

Weiss was awoken by creaking right above her head. She was annoyed at first, half tempted to punch the bottom of the bed until she realized that Ruby was muttering in destress, “Ruby?” Weiss whispered. No response other than more whimpering, “Ruby?”

“No…I don’t believe you.”

Weiss got up. Through their window the shattered moonlight illuminated the room and she could see tear tracks on her leader’s face, “Ruby? Wake up. You are dreaming.”

“Not true.” Ruby groaned out clutching the blanket desperately, “It’s not true.”

“Ruby wake up!” Weiss called out just a bit louder this time shaking the young woman.

The light was flicked on and she looked to see that Blake had gotten up, but Yang was still asleep, although from what Weiss could tell, looking like she was fighting to stay asleep, “What’s going on?”

“Ruby’s in a nightmare, I cannot wake her.” Weiss said as Ruby let out another heartbreaking whimper.

“Should we wake Yang?”

Weiss hesitated. Last time they woke Yang up for something-(granted it was for something stupid)-they had gotten an earful. Then again it is her sister who is currently in distress, “Let’s wait one more minute…I’ll try one more time.” Weiss said after much thought.

Blake conceded, ears folded down at Ruby’s whimpers, muttering for Yang, her father, and…mother? “Ruby please. Wake up.”

“No. No. It’s not true! Stop lying!” Ruby now yelled.

“What the hell is going on?!” The black and white duo sprung to see Yang sitting up, eyes a blood red color, and heat radiating from her.

“YANG!” Ruby yelled now awake at her sister’s voice, ignoring the duo, she sprung out of bed and leaped into the furious blonde as Yang had hopped down onto the floor fully prepared to stomp over to the pair, “Yang it’s a lie. It’s a lie. We got to go. We have to go now!”

Yang’s fury died down as she felt Ruby squeeze her hard, “What-?”

“It’s a lie. They are lying. We got to go. We got to do something!”

Yang looks at Blake and Weiss, and they are equally confused. Yang looks back at her sister, silver eyes glazed over and yet were gleaming with tears and frantically looking at her, “Ruby what is going on?” Yang asks softly.

“They are lying! Mommy is not dead! She promised Yang! She promised me! She is not gone! We got to find her if Daddy and Uncle Qrow aren’t going to do anything! Come on get your stuff we got to go!” Ruby said desperately. Before Yang could react, Ruby let go for her and immediately started grabbing their belongings. Leaving Weiss and Blake looking startled as their stuff remained untouched.

“Ruby wait what-” Weiss started to ask, going over to her partner, but Ruby blew right passed her as if she wasn’t even there.

Blake looks over at Yang and sees the blonde pale as a ghost. She goes over to her and lays a hand on her shoulder, “Yang?”

“It’s one of those memories again.” Yang says slowly, shrugging the hand off, “I can’t. I can’t even…” Weiss looks over now as Ruby is still going through their things. As Ruby pulls her pillow off the bed, a book falls to the floor with a thud.

Weiss reaches down and picks it up, looking at the unlabeled black cover. Opening it, she reads, “ _I couldn’t take, couldn’t stand another minute. Couldn’t bear another day without you in it-_ ” Weiss stops reading out loud and scans the rest in silence before saying, “It’s a journal.” Hesitantly she hands it to Yang.

With a shaking hand, and Blake’s help, she opens it and reads silently the page that Weiss was reading, “She was writing about Mom…Summer.” Yang says eventually, “I can’t believe I-”

“Yang come on! Get ready!”

Yang gulped as she looks at the eager and desperateness of her sister, “Ruby mom is-”

“NO!” Ruby yelled as she stomped her foot in anger that startled the faunus and ex-heiress, “She isn’t gone! She is in trouble! She has to be.” Ruby says the last part softly, and she shakes her head as if clearing it.

“Oh for the love of the brothers. I don’t want to have to do this again. Please don’t let it be true.” Yang says to herself, but Weiss and Blake hear her anyway. They look at the blonde in sadness and confusion as she handed the book back to Blake and closes her eyes for a moment while taking a deep breath, “Even if that were the case Rubes,” Yang starts out as she slowly goes over to Ruby and places her hand on her shoulder, “how do you expect to help Mom without any weapons?”

Ruby pauses for a moment. Her eyes darting towards her sister to the ground and then to the door, “Harbringer. We can use Harbringer! You’re strong Yang! You can wield it to protect us!”

“Shit.” Yang muttered, then out loud she looks at their friends, “It is a memory. It’s the night that Qrow broke the news to us that Summer was presumed dead on her mission.”

“Oh no.” Blake says ears folded down.

“Ruby…” Weiss muttered looking at the hopeful and optimistic expression and once more the cloaked reaper started to gather other things for their ‘journey’.

“Weiss use a glyph to seal the door.” Yang says not appear having to have heard their sympathies, “She is going to try and bolt for it when I am about to convince her otherwise.”

“Should we call Qrow in here?” Blake asked getting Yang’s scroll.

Yang shook her head and reached for her mechanical prosthetic, “No, he wasn’t here when I had to actually sit and explain to Ruby what they were saying. She was young. We were young.” She attached her arm, the heartbreak was real on her face; “I don’t want to do this again.” Blake placed the scroll back on the table. She and Weiss exchanged a look as the ex-heiress placed a glyph on the knob of the door. Weiss gave Yang a nod, showing she was ready.

The blonde shook herself out of her own self-loathing as to what was going to come next as that night echoed clear in her mind, “Rubes, hey can we talk about this for a minute?” She asked gently, taking the lead again as Ruby finished packing up their things.

“No Yang there isn’t time. I need to sneak into Uncle Qrow’s room and get Harbringer before he wakes up!”

Yang places both hands on Ruby’s shoulders. She swallows hard, “Daddy and Uncle Qrow were not lying. Mommy…isn’t coming home Ruby.”

Ruby stares at her, and Yang counts the seconds as her younger sister stares at her, “No. Why are you believing them?! Mommy promised she’d be home!”

“She…she…” Yang shakes her head and could feel Weiss and Blake watching them closely, as if getting ready to react to restrain Ruby if need be, “She promised she wouldn’t leave right? And she left right?” Yang hated to say it. She absolutely hated it, especially after seeing and learning what they had learned over these last months together.

Ruby continues to stare and rubs her face with her hands, “She left. She broke her promise.” Breathing became harder and she was mentally fighting herself now between that small child not understanding that her mother wasn’t coming home, to being the young adult that understood the delicate balance of life and death.

“She didn’t want to Ruby.”

“No. No. No.” Ruby whimpered out, “She’s not gone. I refuse-”

“SHE’S GONE!” Yang yelled the feelings as raw as they were back then, “SHE IS GONE AND ISN’T COMING BACK!”

Ruby stared at Yang and suddenly broke down; she begins crying and quickly lowers her head and presses her hands to her eyes. She backs away from Yang, and Yang just stands there watching, her hands at her side. Blake and Weiss just watch, a coil in their stomach forming a weight. Yang feels her own tears threatening to spill, but she knows she cannot break just yet, no matter how painful she feels. All she can do right now is play her part.

For Ruby, an image comes to her mind. Her mother standing far away from her, turning her back to Ruby, with the wind blowing hard, billowing her white cloak around her and disappearing. Ruby frantically wipes her tears away. Yang watches closely and suddenly takes a cautious step forward, she watches as her sister’s eyes flicker a couple of times, and then the three of them yelp as their leader’s eyes emit a brief flash, “Ruby!” Yang calls out as she hears Ruby’s whimper and watches as she grips her head and swaying.

Ruby drops to her knees, sobbing and whimpering with her head in her hands. Yang runs to Ruby’s side and drops to her knees beside her, and Ruby leans over to rest her head on Yang’s lap, “She’s gone Yang. I…I remember…she’s gone and she isn’t coming home.”

Yang rests her hands on Ruby, looking distraught. Blake kneels down beside her with the tips of her cat ears folded, while Weiss watches with wide eyes, feeling sick to her stomach before slowly approaching the trio and tried to offer some comfort as Ruby continued to silently cry, “It’s ok Rubes. We’ll be ok.” Yang said. Blake though could hear the underlying pain in the blonde’s voice.

“We’re here Ruby.” Weiss whispered as she touched Ruby’s head gently as the soft cries started to settle down, “We got you.”

Blake just nods and places another hand on Yang’s shoulder, “That goes for you as well.”

Yang doesn’t do anything except nod as she continues to try and comfort her broken sister. They do not know how long they stayed like that until Ruby’s cries settled down and she drifted off to sleep. Yang waited a moment or two longer before trying to move the reaper. It took some effort, but Yang managed to place Ruby back into her bed before sighing and settling herself back on Blake’s bed, she rubbed her face with her hand, “Yang?” Weiss called softly as she sat on her own bed. Yang hummed in response, “I won’t ask if you are okay, but I mean you going to be okay?”

“Memories are a funny thing Weiss.” Yang responded, “Sometimes they warm you up from the inside, but they also tear you apart.” Blake sits beside her and grabs her hand, giving it a soft squeeze, Yang sighs, “It is after this moment we had the service. It had it for Ruby that mom wasn’t coming home.” She glances to the bed, waiting to see if her sister was going to wake up again, “She shut down after that, as did my father. She recovered a bit faster than he did, but to see her so broken…”

“You took care of her.” Blake said softly, “Of them.”

“I had no other choice. I couldn’t let us starve. That and it was easier to focus on something than my own problems.” Blake nodded, recalling the story of Yang and how she took Ruby into the woods to try and find Raven Branwen, her biological mother.

“But you couldn’t be a kid…” Weiss muttered out, hearing the implications.

Yang shrugged as if it was no big deal. Before Blake or Weiss could comment further, Yang got up and went over to the desk where the book was and opened it, re-reading it again, “Why would she write about this?”

“You never asked her how she felt when she was old enough?” Blake asked, reading over Yang’s shoulder.

“I…” Yang paused closing the book with a snap and sighed heavily, “We never discussed that night or anytime after. It was one of those things that once the door was shut, it was to never be reopened so to speak.”

Weiss looked over sadly at her best friend, “I guess we just have to talk to her then.”

No one else commented as they got back to bed and turned the lights off. However no sleep came for them that night, unsure of what the morning would bring.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nothing more toxic than yourself guarding your secrets, hiding your tears, silencing your screams, and destroying your soul.

**_ Breaking Point _ **

“Do you want them to leave?” Doctor Stevens asked Yang as he motioned to Blake and Weiss.

“We wouldn’t hold it against you if you wanted some personal time.” Weiss said gently as she saw Yang’s near vacant expression as she stared at the floor, Blake’s ears were folded down just as they had been after last night’s events.

It had been a session that was just supposed to be with the three of them. It had been agreed upon in the beginning that any group sessions (i.e. with Jaune and his team) would be discussed before-hand. Yang was silent for a moment or two longer when she sighed deeply, lilac eyes nearly void of her fiery spark that the monochrome pair had come to know, “No you two can stay. After…you two deserve some answers.”

Doctor Stevens and the pair looked at one another. He then looked back at Yang, “Ok Ms. Xiao-Long let us begin then. Tell me what happened last night.”

They had wanted to talk to Ruby about last night’s events. However the reaper was very (and uncharacteristically) closed off. The only reaction they had gotten out of the reaper without speaking to her directly, was a raised eyebrow when she saw the black journal on the desk. Other than that, there was only a, “ _I’ll be back later_ ”, in a monotone voice before she grabbed the book, a pen, her bag, and Crescent Rose before leaving. In fact it was so curt, that they hadn’t even gotten two words out before she had closed the door on them.

So that left only one other option…the good doctor. Yang, Weiss, and Blake regaled the doctor with finding Ruby back at the dorm. They discussed what Ruby had told them and how everything with the reaper seemed somewhat…well they wouldn’t use the terms ‘ok’ or ‘normal’, but it was a vast improvement of when they had last seen her. Then Weiss started explaining how she had woken up to Ruby fidgeting in the bed and had been wanting to tell her off, and that was when she heard the muttering. Blake had jumped in at that point, explaining the attempts to awaken the cloaked leader and then up until Yang woke up and Ruby wanting to them to leave.

The doctor had nodded along and made notes when necessary, “So this is about your-about Summer Rose then.” He said slowly correcting himself as he had almost referred to the late huntress as Yang’s mother.

“Summer Rose **_is_** and **_always_** will be my mom.” Yang growled out seeming to have read his mind in why he corrected himself.

“My apologies. I didn’t mean to imply-” Dr. Stevens started to say.

“We found her notebook.” Blake said softly, placing a hand over Yang’s to attempt to calm the brawler down, and to get to the point of their meeting, “Weiss had read it to us once Yang had realized she had been trapped in a memory of those events.”

Dr. Stevens nodded slowly, internally thanking the faunus’s protection of the blonde’s wrath, “I see. Well then let’s start with that. Summer Rose’s…disappearance.”

“She died on a mission. She didn’t disappear. She died.” Yang said defiantly, “She broke her promise.”

“Promise to who? You or your sister?”

“Us. Well to Ruby mainly…” Yang corrected herself last minute, “It was the night before the mission. Well…”

“Take your time. We can start from wherever you want to.”

Blake and Weiss gave Yang a supportive look as the blonde closed her eyes and sighed, “Our parents were on the same team. As you know;” she motioned to the doctor, who nodded, “Early in my childhood or ours rather…our father and mother would rotate on missions so that way we had one parent at home with us. I can recall one mission where I guess dad had gotten hurt or something, so he had made the decision to retire as a full time hunter and teach instead. Mom was supposed to follow after him. And for a time mom was home with Ruby and I…but one day they had an argument…”

“An argument you say?”

“Yea, I can’t really remember the words, but I know mom was angry and so was dad…” Yang said slowly, “It was that day in fact that mom had made the promise to Ruby and I…mainly to Ruby. She was old enough to know that they had gone on missions, but had understood that they were mostly home with us. I guess something happened and Mom had to go…even though she promised she’d stay.”

Dr. Stevens nodded as he wrote his notes, “And I take it that was the last you saw of her?”

“It was a normal night, but looking back I should have realized something was wrong. It didn’t feel right; but we did what we normally did. We said good-night to Dad and went up to our rooms to wait for Mom. She’d always read to us before bed.” Weiss and Blake saw a bitter smile at this, and gave each other a look, “She came in and tucked both Rubes and I in. We picked out a story from our book and she read to us. We asked for one more story…and funny thing was, even though it was past our bedtime, she said ok. Like it was completely normal.”

“It wasn’t.” Stevens commented.

“No it wasn’t.” Yang sighed out, “Afterwards she tucked me in and picked Ruby up. She told us that she loved us and that we should always remember that. I knew then that she was saying good-bye without saying it, she saw it too; however something passed between us and I kept quiet.”

“For Ruby’s sake?” Blake asked softly.

Yang nodded, “Ruby had hugged her close and I heard her ask if we could have the special pancakes for breakfast and Mom said yes…that we would be together to have them…carrying Ruby out of my room was the last I saw of her. Next morning I heard Ruby crying, I went downstairs to see Dad trying to comfort her…explaining that other kids needed Mom’s help and she had to go. Dad caught my eye and shook his head. I knew she went on that mission that they had argued the night before.”

“Did you ever find out what kind of mission it was?” Weiss asked.

Yang shook her head, “No, but after all the…secrets…we heard about, I suppose that is one of the things that we will never know.”

There was a moment of silence. Stevens closed his notebook and took a breath before asking, “A bit off topic, however learning about your…feelings in regards to promises…do you ever reflect on the day that Ruby left you on Patch?”

Weiss and Blake watched as lavender eyes turned red. Blake winced as she felt Yang’s hand tighten on her own, “Do. Not. Drag. Ruby. Into. This.” Yang growled out enunciating each word.

“Yang please.” Weiss begged softly, “He is trying to help.”

“Help? He is accusing Ruby of…” Yang trailed off, blood red eyes dulling only slightly, “being like mom…”

Blake felt the hand loosen and she immediately pulled away to make sure circulation still flowed. Once she made sure the hand was alright, did she re-grab her partner’s hand in support, “Yang easy please. Breathe and calm down. This is as much for you as it is for Ruby.”

“But we are here because of Ruby. To find out why she felt the need to write about Mom in the first place. I mean like I said, she was young. I didn’t think she really remembered or understood a lot at that age.”

Doctor Stevens looked hesitant, but then quickly schooled his features. Weiss saw this instantly, “You know something.” She accused darkly, not liking the way he was hiding something about her best friend.

The bumblebee pair looked between him and the former heiress, “I cannot say.” He said, “Ms. Rose had not done any harm to herself or to any individual.”

“That wasn’t a denial.” Blake stated firmly.

“Nor was it admitting anything.” He pointed out.

“Enough with the bull-shit. What do you know?” Yang demanded.

Doctor Stevens sighed, “As I said, I cannot directly break doctor-patient confidentiality. It goes against policy. However I can explain that children learn by example Ms. Xiao-Long.”

“Meaning what exactly?” Blake asked.

“They develop certain…attitudes or coping mechanisms.” He said as he re-opened the notebook to a blank page.

The three young woman looked at him, “What exactly are you eluding too?” Weiss asks slowly.

He remained silent and merely looked at Yang over his glasses. Yang glared darkly at him and then her expression changed as what he wasn’t directly telling them, “You mean somehow this was our fault?” Yang asked softly.

“The goal of these sessions is to not criticize anyone for past inadequacies or mistakes.” Doctor Stevens said gently, “It is about healing, or alleviating, symptoms of a concerning issue or condition. One prime example is being the way heavy emotional trauma is handled. Do you see where I am heading with this?”

“I do and I don’t appreciate it doc.” Yang said darkly.

Blake and Weiss looked at each other and it dawned on them what the good doctor wasn’t directly saying, “Ruby learned this avoidance behavior.” Blake stated and looked at Yang now, “You had said your father was indisposed both physically, mentally, and emotionally. You practically raised her, and even when your uncle would come around, he wasn’t much help. You never dealt with your own traumas.” Yang winced at the explanation, but then Blake turned to the doctor, “You spoke with her yesterday. You knew everything about them. You figured this is where the problems started. You had her write in the journal.”

Stevens sat back and merely kept his mouth shut. However eyes can be telling, and there was a sudden chill in the air, eyes went to Weiss now, “You hurt my partner. You hurt my team.”

There was a glyph forming next to her and both Yang and Blake instantly recognized it as one of her summoning glyphs. To the doctor’s credit, he did not even so much as move a muscle, “Woah easy there princess.” Yang said quickly eyeing the glyph as a large blue ice paw the looked like the beginnings of a beowolf coming out of the glyph before it vanished suddenly.

Yang watches as Weiss deflates a bit, but still keeping her icy glare at the doctor, “Forgive her. She is normally the well composed one out of the three of us…however before I start feeling like I made a mistake in reeling her back in, perhaps you can elaborate.”

Stevens has his eyes on Weiss, not in wariness, but in an analytical gaze, “Interesting reaction Ms. Schnee.”

“I was defending my partner and my team.” Weiss answered in a tone that matched her moniker of ‘Ice Queen’, “I do not take kindly to people that directly hurt them.”

There was a moment of suffocating silence that followed. With a click of his tongue, Stevens decides to give in, if only slightly so that they may see the bigger picture, but not give too much information away on his other patient, “Forgive me. I did not mean any harm. While I cannot confirm nor deny the accusation made by Ms. Belladonna, what I can say is that it is my…suspicion…” He says carefully now, while shifting his posture, “that past childhood traumas spilled over into adulthood; and coping mechanisms have been mimicked and refined in order to…protect…one’s self.”

“Until they no longer worked.” Blake said.

“Again I can neither confirm nor deny this.”

“Ah ha.” Yang stated skeptically, “So tell me again how digging this stuff that we had buried fairly decently needs to rear its ugly head.”

“There is nothing more toxic than yourself guarding your secrets, hiding your tears, silencing your screams, and destroying your soul.” He answered knowingly, “Now then let’s go back to my original question. Do you ever reflect on the day that Ruby left you on Patch?” Yang opens her mouth to answer when he cuts her off, “Please Ms. Xiao-Long, think long and hard about this. Surely the events of last night resurrected something dormant that you have ‘buried fairly decently’.”

Yang scowls at him as he twisted her words onto herself, but then deflates and sighs, hiding her face in her hands, “Ok fine. Yes. I hate to admit it, but when Ruby left without a word it was…hard. Looking back on it, I pushed her away. I was not in a good place mentally and emotionally. So at the time I was more than numb, and didn’t exactly care. I mean I had told her to do what she wanted…and she wanted to leave so she did.”

“Ok good start. Now, in this moment, tell me how you feel.” Yang, Blake, and Weiss looked visibly uncomfortable, “I know this isn’t easy. I never led you to believe that it was going to be. However like we established, it is not good to hide your feelings. Even if you think you’ve had them handled in the past.”

“It hurt ok? Looking back on it, she hurt me.” Yang admitted softly.

“You told her to go.” Weiss said looking at the ground, “But you didn’t really mean it.”

“Yes…no…I don’t know.” Yang said, “Part of me would have been disappointed if she stayed. She always did what she felt was right…if she had stayed-”

“If she would have stayed, then you may have saw it was for selfish reasons.” Blake finished for her, “Or you would have been angry because you would have saw it as out of pity for you.”

Yang shrugged. Stevens looked between the young women and allowed them to have a brief moment of silent reflection, “What about the two of you?” He asked after that moment was over.

“Us?” Weiss and Blake asked together.

“Yes. How do you both feel about this?”

Yang looks at them as well in silent question, “Helpless in a way I suppose?” Weiss answered but it came out as a question, “I’m not used to feeling like I cannot do something. At least not anymore…”

“Same.” Blake admitted seeing that it was her turn to speak up, “Seeing Ruby not responding to us this time was heartbreaking. I’ve just never seen her breakdown like that. She always appeared to be strong despite her…disadvantages.” Seeing that Yang was going to challenge her, she quickly said, “You know what I mean, stopping Torchwick, getting to Beacon two years early, having being made team leader…”

Yang raised her hands in surrender, “Right ok. Fine yes. That is true.”

Blake sighed, “Thank you. I’ll try and watch my phrasing.”

“No. Be honest. Say what you mean. That is why we are hear. This is a safe environment. Now Ms. Schnee, this feeling of helplessness-”

“Stems from my social bureaucratic upbringing in that I could do no wrong. That everything had to be perfect because I had to ‘bring honor to the family name’ because gods forbid I do one little thing out of line to bring ‘disgrace’ to my holy than thou art father.” Weiss quickly explained cutting the man off, “Thank you for bringing that up.”

“I was actually going to comment on being the ‘best teammate’ Ruby could ever have. Your promise that you made to her that you mentioned to me in our first session…” Stevens said.

“Oh.”

This made Yang laugh at the expense of the former heiress, “Nice Ice Queen. Way to dig your hole.”

“Thanks Yang. Thank you for that.”

“Hey you jumped the gun.” Blake said not bothering to hide her shit-eating grin.

Weiss gave them a deadpanned look, “Ok enough of that.”

“Quite. We are almost out of time. So we’ll get to your family problems that you have repressed later.” Stevens commented lightly, hiding a small chuckle behind a cough at the antics, and the displeased look on the former heiress, “Right now Weiss I would like to know if this changes how you view your promise to her.”

“No of course not.” Weiss stated firmly, “She is not just my team leader, she is my best friend. I will still do my damnedest to make sure she knows that I am always there for her. Even when she thinks she can handle things on her own.” She added the last part silently.

Stevens made a note in his book, “And you Blake?”

“I’m not running from this. I am through with running. Ruby didn’t give up on me when I revealed my past, so there is no way I am giving up on her.”

“Ok.” Stevens snapping his notebook closed, “Well this has been productive.”

“Wait we are done?” Yang asks.

“For today yes. I have my next appointment that I need to get ready for. You girls have the tools needed for this next task. I’ll see you all same time next week.” Taking this as their que to leave, they got up and left the room to head back to their dorm room, feeling in a slight knot.

This brief moment of silence lasted for all of two minutes before there was a knock on his door, before he could give consent for the person to enter, it opened and he was greeted with glaring silver eyes with a scowl to match as she slammed the book on his desk, “Ms. Rose. Please have a seat. I take it you completed you homework assignment. Tell me, how did it go?” He asked as he got out another file and a different notebook.

“You are one SOB, you know that doc?” Ruby asked sarcastically.

“I’ve been called worst, but we are not here for me. We are here for you, so…let’s review shall we?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The soul always knows what to do to heal itself; the challenge is to silence the mind

“Alright, I give up. What does this circle inside of a square have to do with anything?” Ruby asked, her tone not quite onboard with what was happening, and yet in a bored tone all the same as she pushed the paper back towards the doctor.

They had discussed in great lengths of the journal entry. It was clear to Stevens that Ruby was still bottling feelings inside, and of course this led to her denying them; despite admitting to the reason why she had stormed into his office in the first place: the nightmare of finding out her mother was never again coming home, “I am trying to explain grief to you Ms. Rose.”

“With a circle and a square…?”

“Do not think of it as a circle and square per say. The square is a box, and the circle is a ball.”

Ruby chuckled and shook her head, “Oh come on, I may not always have common sense but even I learned that the ball doesn’t fit in squares.”

“Humor me Ms. Rose…” He asks and the tone suggests one of some authority, facial expression giving her a leveling look.

Ruby didn’t want to have this conversation. In fact she would rather be anywhere but sitting here discussing her feelings again. The urge to run was high, but she matched his stare before sighing and relenting, “Fine, explain the ball thingy and box thing.”

He smiles gently as she leans forward to watch him, “Ok so you have a box, a ball, and over here is a button for pain.” He draws the ‘button’, he then looks briefly at his patient to make sure she was paying attention before going back to his story, “In the beginning the ball is huge. You can’t move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. It rattles on its own in there and hits that button over and over.” He draws arrows showing the movement of the ball, he watches her closely, seeing that she is calculating to herself how the ball could avoid the button, ever the prodigy tactician she was trained to be, “You cannot control it-it keeps hurting. Sometimes it seems unrelenting.”

Ruby pulls the drawing closer, still studying it, “Someone can leave the box alone and not move it. If the box cannot move then neither can the ball. Physics. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Box moves so does the ball. Box doesn’t move then neither can ball.”

“Physics. The natural law of the universe we live in. Interesting concept, however your logic is flawed in this case. Let me explain some more,” he said raising his hand to prevent her from speaking. He turned the picture over and drew out another box, but this time with a smaller ball and the button in the same place, “Over time, the ball gets smaller. It hits the button less and less, but when it does, it hurts just as much. It’s better because you can function day to day more easily. But the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it.”

Ruby nods along, with a satisfied smile on her face, “But again, no movement of box equals no movement of ball. Therefore, the ball does not hit this so called ‘pain button’. No touch. Of the button.”

He smiles patiently at her, “You can pretend the box does not move all you want. You can even say the box is at a standstill inside of you…however there is an invisible force causing the ball to bounce inside. Just like gravity. We cannot see it, but we know it’s around us. Or take something under pressure, say shaking a bottle of soda? The bottle itself can only take so much before it explodes right?”

Ruby deflates, she knows where this is headed as much as she tries to fight it, “Ok doc you got me there.” She breathes out a sighs, “So how does one, for the sake of argument, get rid of this ball? Would opening the lid and letting the ball out work?”

At this the doctor turns the paper towards himself and draws another diagram, this time with a much smaller ball no bigger than a small bouncy ball, “For most people, the ball never really goes away.” He pushes it back towards her so she could see as he finishes with, “It might hit less and less and you have more time to recover between hits, unlike when the ball was still giant.” He shows her the first drawing.

The young reaper looks between the two and shoves the papers aside, “So what you are saying is I have this ball that’s been bouncing around inside this box inside of me…” He nods encouragingly, “and due to my tendency to repress things, it hasn’t gotten the chance to become smaller.”

“Partially. I believe your grief is like…a softball size let’s say. It’s the response to pain that is great. You had this ability to repress feelings to focus on the mission you are on. You have not learned the proper methods to handle your feelings in a healthy manner, which as I mentioned before, started at a young age. So while time may have shrunk the ball down a few notches, it is the pain that hasn’t had a chance to shrink much; And with the election night trauma all that control you thought you had? Broke. It’s like the soda bottle example-”

“Pressure built up until it had nowhere else to go.” Ruby finished as she sat back to stare up at the ceiling.

“Precisely.” The doctor responded.

Leaning forward now and rubbing her face, Ruby huffs and then sits back again, “Ok. What can I do? How do I make these things stop?”

Stevens looks at the reaper, “Well acknowledging you have a problem is a great start. You accomplished that yesterday when you came by.”

“And thanks to your brilliant idea, I had a night terror…memory thing again. So that wasn’t much of a help.” Came the snarky reply, then realizing the tone she used, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and saying, “Sorry didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

“Its fine, I understand. Besides I never said it was going to be easy.” He leaned back now in his chair and met the molten silver eyed gaze.

“No you didn’t, however you never warned me of the difficulties either.”

Stevens didn’t acknowledge the comment and instead said, “This guy's walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up ‘ _Hey you! Can you help me out?_ ’ The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on.”

Ruby leans forward and listens closely. Seeing that he has her undivided attention, Stevens continues, “Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up ‘ _Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?_ ’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.” He continues to watch her and takes a breath before finishing the story with, “Then a friend walks by ‘ _Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?_ ’ And the friend jumps in the hole!”

“Well that was stupid.” Ruby comments as she then leans back arms crossed.

Stevens chuckles at the look on her face, “Well now hold on. I am not done yet. See, our guy just happened to agree with you sentiment and says, ‘ _Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!_ ’ and the friend says, ‘ _Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out_.’ Do you see the moral of the story now?”

Ruby looks away now, “I suppose.”

“You suppose?”

“I don’t want to burden them.” She states, “I know we are all going through the same thing to an extent, but I-”

“Do not want to appear weak? Ms. Rose you are anything but weak.” He replies gently, “You can do two things here, talk to your friends or maybe try the journal assignment again. This time though instead of focusing on your mother…I want you to focus on the Vytal Tournament.”

Ruby looks sharply at him, “The tournament?”

“Yes.” He pushes the journal towards her and she just stares at it, “I want to try a new angle. I want you to walk through the moment and the feelings you had then compared to now.”

“I…” she looks at the book on the table, “I can’t.”

Amber eyes meet silver and he looks deeply into her. He watches as she almost folds in onto herself, but he sighs and relents, “Write or talk?”

“Write…talk…both.”

He frowns, “Ruby-”

“Please.”

He relents and removes his glasses, “Ok. Then try free writing. Write any topic and how you feel on that topic, however…” He pauses as she starts to slowly pick up the book, “I would appreciate if you wrote about the tournament.”

“Are we done?”

“We are. Same time tomorrow then.”

Ruby doesn’t say good bye, but slowly makes her way towards the door. She pauses and gives him a look, “Will writing about the Vytal Tournament fix me?”

“Ms. Rose, we do not use the term ‘fix’. To imply that I ‘fix’ you means you were broken to begin with.”

“Me being here implies I am damaged.”

He gives her a disappointed frown, “And when have I ever said you were damaged? If you could hear a recording of our sessions together, that word does not even get used. What we are trying to work on is how you react to the triggers that have an emotional devastating effect on your well-being.” Seeing she was still apprehensive, he adds, “When you were writing your report, the parallels that you experienced at the election party and at the tournament were similar enough to trigger your more violent memories. If we can get you to acknowledge the feelings you are repressing, then those techniques may be used in the future to help you. Like some people use the five-four-three-two-one technique in an anxiety attack.”

“Five-four-three-two-one?”

“Acknowledging five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It is meant to help ground the person in the moment. In your case, you are experiencing more than just anxiety; however a technique like that could help before things get out of hand.”

Taking a deep shaky breath, Ruby nods, “Thank you doc.” She leaves the office and walks a few feet away from the door before leaning on the wall, her heart feeling slightly heavier than when she had left yesterday afternoon. Perhaps maybe she could start talking to her team, taking another deep breath, she starts to make her way towards the dorm room.


End file.
